


Perfect Secrets

by orphan_account



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Murder, References to Depression, Suicide, based off the books, multiple POVs, spoilers for most of shadowhunters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-02-29 21:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 29,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18786241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This all began when my friend and I had a random idea in the middle of class and decided, "let's write a fanfiction together!" Because why the heck not. So, here we are. First things first, this is based off of the Shadowhunters series of books by Cassandra Clare, so if you are looking for something about the show this is not it. Be prepared for angst, fluff, and a happy ending. This is what would have happened (we think) if Ragnor and Raphael had survived the war, and if they were together. Also, side warning, there is some hints at depression, life threats, and attempted suicide. what happens is Camille threatens Raphael and Ragnor, so they have to run away with Alec's help. The catch is, no one else can know- not even Magnus. Idk, I'm bad at summaries and my friend isn't here to help me out since I'm impatient and writing this at like 1 am instead of waiting until tomorrow. you'll get the idea of it by chapter 2 or so. Hope you like it!





	1. Magnus needs therapy. Like a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was made by two people, Anna Nightshade and Maddy Riveroot. Know that writing style may differ depending on chapter. That being said, we hope that you enjoy our story!

Magnus was drained. In just the last three days, he’d summoned four demons, fought in a war, fought valiantly for downworlder rights, lost, and now he was sitting on his couch in his apartment cuddling his perfect boyfriend while watching reruns of Pretty Little Liars and eating powdered doughnuts. Life was perfect, and no one could convince him otherwise. Just as the intro theme of the fourth episode ended, Alec’s phone rang. As he picked it up and listened, a worried look began to creep onto his face. Once he hung up, Magnus put his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder and asked, concerned, “Babe? Who was that? What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing you have to worry about Mags, just Raphael. He says that Jace got drunk and tried to steal his bike again. He can’t fend him off because the Cold Peace has people more on edge than ever, so he needs me to go retrieve my _lovely_ parabatai. I’ll be back soon!” After saying that, he got up and left, kissing his boyfriend on his way out.  
As Magnus sat and watched the TV, he thought about what his friend Catarina had told him the other day. ‘You have to tell him, Magnus! He must know, before it’s too late. He’s different, I can tell. He is stronger than you know. He will still love you, even if you don’t believe it. Even if you don’t love yourself. I still love you even though I know, just like Ragnor, just like Raphael, and so will Alec. He is ready, it’s you that isn’t. Be ready, before it’s too late. Show him you trust him enough to stay. Show him you care. He knows that you are in love with him, but does he know you love him? To be in love is passing, impermanent. To love is eternal. Show him that what you have is eternal. Because everyone else seems to know but you. Stop pretending that this is your own burden to bear, stop shielding it like your perfect little secret. You’ve let him into your heart, now let him into your soul.’  
Magnus knew he should tell his boyfriend about his past, about his father. But even though he knew Alec was different, that just made him not want to tell him even more. What if he ran away? Magnus didn’t want to lose something this good, because he knew that he’d never get anything this perfect again. He began to imagine scenarios of how Alec might react if he found out the truth about Magnus, about how messed up he really was. None of them were good. It didn’t matter what Catarina or anyone else told him, he knew the truth. No one could really love him, he didn’t deserve it. No one could love him if they knew what he’d done or who his father was. No one.  
Then Magnus began to think about what could happen in the impossible scenario in which Alec stayed. What if he was put in danger? What if Magnus’s father hurt him? What if? There was truly no possible good outcome. He wasn’t good for Alec, but he also wasn’t strong enough to let him go. He really was a terrible boyfriend.  
At this point Magnus wouldn’t be able to tell you what was happening in the show if his life depended on it. He curled into a ball on the couch, shaking, his head in his hands. At some point he must have begun crying, because he felt something wet hit his cheek. Then he must have fallen asleep from the exhaustion, because the next thing he remembered is waking up in his bed with Alec hugging him, a tired, worried look was in his eyes. They appeared red, as if Alec had been crying.  
“Magnus? Babe? Why were you crying?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one was pretty short, sorry about that. while writing it my friend Maddy and I were still getting a feel for the story and everything. But, the rest of the chapters will be longer, I promise! I actually can say that, because while going through the process of deciding on where to post this and setting up the account, we finished the whole story. As in, all 23 chapters. we may or may not have pulled several all-nighters due to having so many late night inspiration surges. We have a problem. Anyways, credits for this chapter go to Anna Nightash.


	2. Camille is an evil b-with-an-itch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a few references to another of our favorite series, Shadow Falls, which is highly underappreciated by the way. If anyone wants a recommendation for an amazingly written, and also relatively long series to keep you occupied for a while, this is a pretty good one. it's basically a combination of Percy Jackson and Shadowhunters, but still keeps itself very original. It's by C.C. Hunter, and not enough people talk about it so go check it out! Okay book promo over, on with the story!

Raphael walked briskly down the street, chasing after Camille Belcourt. Walker and Archer sort of made a protective shield around her, pushing Raphael away whenever he tried to talk to her. “Our mistress doesn’t want to speak with you, Mr. Santiago,” Archer insisted, but Raphael roughly shoved them aside.  
“My lady!” he yelled, as Walker tried to grab his shirt and pull him back. Camille turned back, a cruel smile drawing onto her lips, slowly creeping up like dripping honey. She stopped walking, raised an eyebrow, and motioned for her subjugates to let him free. They dropped him with a thud, and even with his vampiric grace, he tripped. One of the cons of being forever 15, and relatively small, he thought bitterly. He walked up to her, and they continued trekking along the dark, cracked sidewalks. Camille wore a dark purple dress that fell like a waterfall down her back, her bare shoulders glistening under the street lamps in a way that Raphael knew she wanted to be seductive. However, it was no use, and she should have realized that by now.  
Camille had been upset with him after he came out a few weeks ago, and the Cold Peace had only aggravated this. Walker had told him that Camille was angry because he had not fought harder against the peace, and that he was sympathizing with the shadowhunters. Though he had claimed this was false, he was afraid. He had only just gotten back from Idris and still didn’t know how Elliott and Lily felt about his admission. It was a horrid, gut-wrenching feeling, and much worse a feeling than when he had been closeted.  
“Raphael Santiago, have you ever killed before? Really killed a mundane?”  
“I-,” there were many parts of his past that he would never admit to that b-with-an-itch, but there were some secrets that even he didn’t want to admit. Magnus Bane knew the answer to this question. After a brief moments hesitation, he spoke. “When I was a fledgling, I killed all of my friends, another vampire and nearly myself. Why do you ask this?”  
Camille looked impressed. An expression, Raphael decided, she did not often wear. “I haven’t killed in so long. It’s been ages since I’ve had anything mundane. Food, entertainment…,” she paused, pursing her lips. “Or a lover. I fear we may never have that again, because of the Nephilim, with their ‘peace.’” Camille paused again, as they rounded a corner. Two mundane children were sitting on a doorstep, a little girl and boy. The boy was hitting the girls doll with his action figure as if they were in some mock battle; the little girl was giggling her head off.  
Raphael looked at Camille, and saw _the look_ come into her eyes. _The look_ , as all who knew her called it, was the expression that drew upon Camille's face when she was about to do something sinister, or that others would disagree of. A mad desire to show off, or make others uncomfortable, as she had back in the 80’s when high mundane’s were all the rage.  
“Lady Camille…” Raphael warned, looking around. “Lady Camille, we really should-”  
“Hush, Santiago.” She said, and Raphael fell silent. He knew his place, as hard as it was hearing it from her. Camille bent down next to the children, and they looked up, half suspicious. _Run,_ Raphael thought.  
“Hello, beautiful children. My _friend_ and I have some candy for you, if you follow us. Why don’t you come along?” Her teeth flashed, pearly white and sharp as knives.  
“Oh, Dios. My lady...”  
Camille gave him a warning look. She took their willing hands and began leading them down the street. After a few moments, she drew them into an alleyway and handed them to Walker and Archer. The kids began to scream, realizing their mistake, but the subjugates clamped their hands’ over the children’s mouths. Camille placed a delicate, but strong hand on Raphael’s arm. “Don’t you miss it? Fresh blood. Watching the life leave their eyes. And it doesn’t hurt them, you know. Any moron can inflict pain. But only a vampire can take life in such a blissful way. Having something submit to you… the power’s intoxicating. I see why you like being in charge of the vampires.”  
“That’s not why, Lady Camille, it’s because I don’t trust you!” He said, very slowly. Vampires are very prideful, and French vampires.... They were the worst of the worst when it came to taking disrespect.  
She swallowed the words, tightening her grip. “You’re not at all tempted? Not even a little?”  
“They’re children!” Raphael yelled.  
“They’re mundanes!” Spat Camille, her eyes burning with anger.  
“Camille, you can’t hurt them! They are innocent! The Nephilim-”  
Camille spun, facing him. There was a sort of anger in her face. “Ha! The Nephilim. I knew you sympathized with them. Of course you do. You’re young, you don’t remember the days before the accords, when our kind was hunted like elk in the woods. This will be just like it, wait and see. In fact, I think you’d make a wonderful example for our people, you and Fell, what with the fact that he worked at their school for centuries, teaching them how to hunt us!” She stopped, eyeing him. “I had always hoped for the best with you, Raphael. Such a pretty boy; you would have made such a good subjugate,” She reached forward, brushing her hand along his face. He pulled away.  
“I’m not yours, Camille.”  
She dropped her hand. “Pity.” She began to walk away.  
“The children, Ms. Belcourt!?” He yelled after her. She did not turn back, but Walker and Archer let them go. The children ran off, but not before Raphael could convince them that what they thought had happened hadn’t happened.  
When they were gone, Raphael slumped down against the wall, hugging his knees. Despite the grime dripping down the old brick walls he leaned against, dampening his jacket; despite the cockroaches that scuttled around near his legs and climbed over his shoes; despite the meth-head passed out on the other end of the alley way, Raphael couldn’t help but submit to his shock.  
Camille was not one to fight with, she was a formidable enemy to have. And she had threatened not only him but Ragnor Fell, his… his _boyfriend_. Even in his head, the word was hard to swallow. Not because he wasn’t happy about the relationship, but because of the implications it held. Raphael was not an open person. He had hoped he’d never have to be. But right now, he needed to let his feelings out. Every once and awhile, Raphael had some sort of mental break down. He’d gone on vacation when Camille turned the night children against him in the 80’s, over that drug scandal that nearly brought them to ruin. When that adorably annoying little fledgling Simon had gotten the ability to go into the sun, his jealousy nearly drove him mad. But this… this was far more important than his friends, or his abilities. This was about protecting himself, and the man he loved. And so, he needed to talk to the one man who could help him.  
After several moments of staring at the contact listed on his phone, debating whether or not this was the right choice, his index finger shakily pressed the button, causing the phone to ring. Raphael bit his lip, focusing on sounding as nonchalant as possible, but there was a wet, sort of fractured aura to it.  
“Alexander Lightwood?”  
“Yes?” Alexander asked, cautiously.  
“I- I know it’s late, b-but, I…,” Raphael cursed under his breath. _Stop stuttering._ He told himself. _You sound too desperate if you stutter._ “I need your help…..please? Lady Ca-” he stopped himself. She was not his lady, not anymore. She had long since lost that title of respect in his eyes. “Camille Belcourt, she... well…” the floodgates opened. He began to cry. “Can you meet me? I need to speak with you, urgently. And don’t tell Magnus, I can’t- I can’t face him right now.” If Magnus came, he would surely, if he didn’t already know, find out that Ragnor and Raphael were together, and Raphael didn’t know if he was ready for Magnus’s reaction. Knowing Magnus, it probably wouldn’t be negative, but…  
“Uhm, of course. Where are you?”  
“E-east Harlem.” _Dios, again with the stuttering._  
“Ok, I’m on my way,” Alexander Lightwood said, with that well known sweet but undeniably awkward tone of his. He hung up and Raphael buried his head in his lap. For what wasn’t the first time in the last few weeks, and what definitely wouldn’t be the last, he wondered what he had just done. Calling a Nephilim for help with relationship problems and to deal with threats from a nasty little vampire who reminded him of everyone he didn’t like from Twilight? (Raphael had read Twilight a few years prior, at the insistence of Lily. He vomited. Vampire’s should not- did not sparkle. He didn’t care what that nerdy daylighter said. Well, that was lie. He had stopped caring about what Simon said about four hours after Simon had become a vampire, when the fledgling had entered Tacky’s and ordered pizza with extra garlic to find out weather or not he was now allergic. Simon had, ironically, choked on the pizza, but not because it was garlic. It was because his body was still transitioning into vampirism, and no mundane food should be consumed during that stage, as any half civilized vampire would know. Unfortunately, this had convinced Simon he was, in fact, allergic to garlic. _What an idiot,_ Raphael had thought at the time. (Ok, I’m getting a bit off topic here, but this is all very important information that one who is entering the downworld should know! (: Ok, back to the main story.) It had been a rough few weeks, what with the Cold Peace, coming out, and now Camille’s threat. And on top of all that, he had to worry about not only his own life, but also Ragnor Fell’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (FYI all chapter notes are written by the same person, Anna Nightshade, because this is on my account, so even if the chapter isn't by me, the notes are. Just wanted to clear up any confusion before it's too late)  
> Yeah... so both of us hate Camille with a fiery passion burning in our souls. It kinda (okay, really) shows in this story. Anyways, chapter credits go to my lovely fellow fangirl over here, Maddy Riveroot! props to her for knowing how to write a chapter with actual substance and length. I get better, I promise.


	3. Some things are best left said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning: heavy emotions ahead. Both authors cried more than admittable while retaining dignity when writing this. You have been warned.

Alec stared at his boyfriend’s tear stained face. When he’d gotten home after going to help Raphael, he’d arrived to find Magnus curled on the couch sobbing in his sleep. Everything that had just happened with Raphael immediately flew from his mind, all that mattered was Magnus. He’d lifted the warlock’s sleeping form and carried him to their shared bedroom at the back of the loft. After setting him down on the bed and wrapping him in a blanket, he curled around Magnus’s body protectively and watched him sleep fitfully. He would have woken the man up, but Magnus rarely slept anymore and this was better than nothing. Alec didn’t even try to sleep, he knew it would be in vain anyways. They stayed like that for hours, Magnus shaking in his sleep and Alec hugging him tighter each time. After a while he too began to cry at the realization that he hadn’t been there when Magnus had needed him most.  
Around three a.m., Alec felt Magnus stir and begin to sniffle. Alec immediately hugged him from behind and asked, “Magnus? Babe? Why were you crying?” Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say because Magnus began to cry even harder. “No, no, no. Baby, please don’t cry. I’m right here. I’ll never leave you, no matter what. I love you, you know that. Nothing else matters, and that will never change. Just tell me what’s wrong so I can help you, please.”  
After a little while Magnus began to calm down. They sat in silence for a moment, and Magnus seemed to come to a conclusion. A mixed look of determination and absolute terror seemed to come over his face as he sat up, and began to talk. “Well, you know how you’ve always asked me about my past? And how I’d always tell you I didn’t want to talk about it?”  
Alec nodded yes and motioned for him to continue, this was not what he’d been expecting in the slightest, but it was also more than he’d ever gotten out of Magnus on this subject. He wasn’t about to have Magnus stop. He did, however, grab Magnus’s hand and held it tight.  
“So I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to tell you about everything. Just, don’t interrupt me, even if I start crying. I don’t think I’ll be able to get it all out otherwise.” Magnus stopped and looked at Alec, his expression the most vulnerable Alec had ever seen it. And what he saw made him want to cry. He looked broken, terrified, in anguish, and almost like he felt he had an ironic sense of a sliver of hope, but it was barely there. He looked exactly like Alec never wanted him to feel.   
All Alec knew to do was squeeze his boyfriend’s hand in encouragement. Magnus nodded to himself and continued, “So, first of all my biological father is Asmodeus. Like, as in one of the Nine Princes of Hell Asmodeus. We have a mutual agreement of eternal hatred.” Magnus stopped and looked at Alec for a moment before continuing. “The next is that my mom killed herself after my mark surfaced because she couldn’t bear the fact that she had given birth to a monster. She hung herself in our barn; I was the one to find her body. After that, my step father tried to drown me. He said that it was to purify me, to make me better, to give me a soul. He told me that my eyes were windows to hell. I hated him, but I never wanted to harm him. Yet when he shoved my head into the water, I knew I was about to die. And if not me, him. Only one of us was ever going to get out of there alive. Then Asmodeus came to me and showed me how to survive. What spell to cast. I was young and scared; I didn’t know who to trust. So I did it. I killed him. I knew I couldn’t stay so I ran. I was only ten when it all happened. Ragnor found me, and mentored me. The reason I didn’t tell you any of this before now is because I hate myself for what I did, and I know you will hate me too. No one could love me after knowing this. I’m disgusting. You will probably run away now, and I won’t blame you. If you don’t run you might die, because of my father. I was selfish not to tell you sooner, just being here with me is putting you in danger. I’m a terrible person, and a horrible boyfriend. I just, I loved you. Still do. And I wanted to have that for once in my life, even though I could never deserve it. So, all I ask is that-” Alec cut him off and kissed him.   
“What are you even saying? Why would you ever think in a million years that I would ever leave you, or stop loving you, or any of the stupid things you said? And even if I wasn’t with you, I’m still in constant danger. It’s my job for Raziel’s sake! Besides, the past is the past. The person you were isn’t the person you are now. And you aren’t your father either. You aren’t your parents, you simply have their DNA. and I love one hundred percent of that, greater demon blood and all. Nothing you could ever do, and nothing you have ever done, will ever be enough to make me stop loving you. I love you Magnus, and I always have, and I always will. No matter what. Now shut up and hug me back,” Alec declared. How could Magnus ever say any of those things? Why would he think that? It made no sense to Alec whatsoever. Both of them were now sobbing as Magnus weakly wrapped his arms around Alec.   
“Why?” Magnus whispered.  
“Why what?”  
“Why do you love me?”  
This question felt… wrong. On a fundamental level. Alec felt something break inside him. Like if a piece of his heart or soul had suddenly shattered, and left an empty sense of despair in its place. Why does Alec love him? Why wouldn’t he? Alec had never seen Magnus like this before. And to think, that this was what Magnus truly thought and felt made Alec feel crushed, but it was something more than that. It was some sense of deep, primal grief that he couldn’t even think of a proper word for because it was so great.   
Alec took a deep breath and began to lay his soul down for Magnus, “Why do I love you? Because if I’m being honest, you are the most wonderful, honest, amazing, loving, generous, humble, and genuine person I’ve ever met. Because you are you. Because you are kind. Because you treat me better than I deserve. Because you are good. Because you are funny. Because you show me that the world will always have hope left as long as you are in it. Because you make me happy. Because you are beautiful, especially without all the makeup. Because I’m not whole without you. Because you are true to yourself. Because you don’t let others tear you down. Because you always get back up. Because you stand up for what you believe in. Because you love me too, even if I’ll never really understand why. Because you protect me no matter how many times I tell you not to. Because of how you smile. Because you make me smile with everything you do. Because you’re stubborn. Because even the things that annoy me about you just make me love you even more. Because you are my everything. Because you are worth it, worth all the pain in the world, worth anything and everything as long as I get to wake up next to you each day until I die whenever that may be. Because even when that day comes, I will still love you because you deserve it and by the angel I will find a way to stick around and continue to be with the love of my life. Because of everything about you. Because there simply isn’t a single reason not to love you. Because, to put it quite simply, you are perfect.” Alec’s eyes were watering. Magnus seemed to be at a loss for words after that speech. A single tear rolled down his cheek, and Alec reached up to wipe it away. “Like I said, I love you. I love you more than anything. And nothing in the whole universe will ever change that. And don’t you dare say that you don’t deserve me because by the angel you are perfect, and if anything I don’t deserve you.”  
“But all of those things describe you, not me. How are you so perfect to me? How do I love you so much without exploding?”  
“I don’t know, but we can just agree that those things describe both of us and call it a draw. Also, I think that today will just be spent in here, with our phones on silent, cuddling to our heart’s content.”  
“Agreed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I cry more at what I write than because of real life things at this point. I don't know if that's good because it means I am at least mediocre at writing, or bad because I might not have normal human emotions Anyways, credits for this chapter go to Anna Nightshade. 
> 
> ps.- while writing this in class instead of doing homework like a responsible human being, I started to cry. my friends started to ask what was wrong, and I showed them this, and they told me I have no life. I would like to think that I do have a life, it just revolves entirely around fandoms because I am an overly-obsessed fangirl. I don't know why I am telling you this, I just thought it was kinda funny or whatever IDK. See you next chapter!


	4. Things are about to get REAL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so we just wanted to let everyone know that the upload schedule will be twice a day, every day. With that being said, I hope you enjoy the story!

Rangor was bored. He missed his boyfriend, but he understood why Raphael wasn’t there. Camille was being a b-with-an-itch, and Raphael had to do damage control. Honestly, why hadn’t someone killed her yet? But no matter, he had his own life as well. Namely, moping around and acting like a pathetic fool when he was supposed to be doing work. While contemplating whether to eat his loneliness away using pizza or cookie-dough ice cream, his phone began to ring.  
“Hello? What do you want? I’m very busy right now, you interrupted my sulking!” Ragnor snapped at the person on the other end of the line. He’d picked up the call without checking the name, so it was a surprise when the voice answered and he realized who he was talking to.  
“Well hello to you too. I was going to tell you that your lovely boyfriend here is in imminent peril, and he requires your immediate services. However, It seems that you are busy so I guess that my expertise will have to do. Good day, dear sir. You may now return to your sulking. If that is still your number one priority, that is,” Alec responded sharply.  
Shit. Raphael was in trouble. “Where?”  
“East Harlem. Bring a go-bag for both of you, enough to last a very long time. Also, bring two dead bodies that look like you and Raphael. Don’t ask.” After saying this, Alec hung up. Ragnor went on autopilot, grabbing clothes, money, two jackets, some toiletries, and anything else he thought they might need.  
He sped to East Harlem, probably breaking several laws in the process, but he couldn’t care less. Raphael was the only thing that mattered. Very few things were left in his life that brought him joy, and Raphael was the one that brought him the vast majority of it. He had to protect him, no matter what. Even if he had to die to do so. And if Raphael did die, then he’d become Hercules and go to the after life to save him like Meg. But Ragnor didn’t want to think about that. On the way he stopped at the hospital where Catarina worked and she helped him glamour two bodies to look like the couple. She didn’t ask, she knew not to after being friends with Magnus for so long.  
After five minutes, he finally arrived at the specified location and ran to his boyfriend and Alec. Alec seemed to be trying to calm Raphael down and comfort him, but it didn’t appear to be working very well, if at all. Raphael was leaning against a wall, trembling. The scene broke Ragnor’s heart. Ragnor jumped out of his car, grabbed all the bags, and ran over to the pair. Alec looked up at him with a desperate look in his eyes and backed away from the forlorn vampire. Ragnor got down on his knees, probably staining his new jeans in some strange substance that he would prefer never to know the contents of, and asked Raphael, “What happened?”  
Raphael closed his eyes, trying to ground himself, and began to speak shakily, his voice growing stronger with each word, “I-it was Camille. Sh-she has been th-threatening me for qu-quite a while. I’d say ab-about a month.” he sniffled, then continued stronger than before, “She said that she’d tell the Clave that you had been summoning greater demons. That she’d do it to hurt me. I wouldn’t have been so scared if it were me, but it was you. When Camille says something, she does it. And with the new Cold Peace, the Clave is more suspicious than ever. They’ll believe her, because they think that they have no other options, because they think they can’t risk it. You’d die, and I’d be left with nothing. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything in my power to keep you alive. I wouldn’t have the will or care to keep myself going. So, here we are.”  
Ragnor didn’t know what to say or think after that, so he said nothing and simply hugged Raphael, eventually stating, “Nothing could keep me apart from you.”  
“Guys, this is cute and all, but we should really get you going. Camille could tell the Clave that stupid lie at any moment, and they have connections everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean everywhere,” Alec said. True, Ragnor thought to himself. While he began to open a portal to a small town in Peru that he once went to with Magnus (they don’t go there anymore, don’t ask), Raphael wiped away his red tears, gathered himself, and picked up the bags. Alec kept watch for any passerby that may cause trouble.  
“Thanks for helping me, I guess. You really didn’t have to. Just, promise me again that you won’t tell Magnus? I know you love him, but I don’t want him to be put in danger because of me. He’s already done that before and I don’t feel like owing him any more favors,” Raphael told Alec before stepping up to the portal.  
“I promise, and you don’t have to thank me. Anything for a friend,” Alec responded with a small smile.  
“I’ve told you before, I don’t do friends,” Raphael said, smirking, before leaping through the portal.  
“Take care of him,” Alec told Ragnor before patting him goodbye on the back.  
“I could say the same for you,” Ragnor said.  
“Just stay safe, I’ll find a way to contact you if anything noteworthy happens.”  
“In our world, when is that not the case?”  
“True, now go catch your boyfriend. He’s probably wondering what’s taking you so long.” Alec said. Ragnor turned with a laugh and jumped through the portal before it closed with a wink.  
Alec smiled, but then he turned around and that smile immediately turned into a face of horror. “Oh, shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love cliff-hangers? You know, until I wrote this I didn't understand why authors will include them. like, why would they put their adoring fans through that pain, that torment of not knowing? Now I get it. It's because they love to watch our pain and suffering. They find joy in our tears. It gives them a sense of power. It feels glorious. Anyways, credits for most of this chapter go to Anna Nightshade, but some parts were added in by Maddy Riveroot because it was much more boring before. So, thanks to her for making my writing not look like it sucks as much. That being said, we hope you enjoyed it, and we will see you in the next chapter!


	5. An unlikely ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Catherine, the vampire who you never think twice about, but is always there behind the scenes. People always underestimate her, so they never notice her when she sees things she was never supposed to see. She's that one character always lurking in the background, knowing exactly what's going on. And yet, despite everything, they go unheard and unseen. Until today, that is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is one of my favorite chapters. Hope you like it just as much!

Catherine skipped down the sidewalk, her bright blonde hair bouncing along with her. It draped around large hoop earrings, like curtains. It was tucked into an orange headband, and her low cut flower adorned button up was tucked into high-waisted yoga pants. To complete this outfit, she was wearing knee high cat socks and sandals. Not what one would particularly expect from a vampire, was it? Catherine had always thought the dark and brooding theme for her kind was so last-century, but Raphael Santiago sure made it work. Catherine would have sighed at the mere mention of him, if she breathed. He was _so_ dreamy, she thought.  
Catherine was just on her way to Tacky’s, where she was supposed to meet Elliott and Lily. They weren’t very close, however tonight they had a common interest. Raphael Santiago. The three of them knew that Camille was breathing down his neck (metaphorically, she didn’t actually breath) over the Cold Peace and was terribly disappointed when he came out as Demi-sexual. They wanted- needed- to help him, if Raphael was going to stay in the game. If he couldn’t mend his bonds with Camille- well, she was a formidable enemy. The fact that he was so very closed off wouldn’t make this any easier.  
As Catherine passed through East-Harlem that warm fall evening, she heard something. Voices in the breeze, a familiar smell carried in the wind… the rusty, cool smell of a portal. To most, it was undetectable, but downworlders knew better. Catherine followed the smell a few blocks, out of pure curiosity, and hid around the corner of an old building. She ducked against the side of a van parked nearby, and allowed herself to melt into the shadows. Looking out, she saw them.  
There were three people standing in front of the portal. One was a shadowhunter, tall, with dark hair and blue eyes… _wasn’t that Magnus Bane’s boyfriend?_ She thought. The man standing next to him was also familiar… a warlock with green skin and frosty white hair. And across from them… was Raphael. He was clearly upset; Catherine could tell from his aura. He kept curling his hands into fists, and checking around as he talked- as if he expected that somebody was watching him. However, he did not see Catherine there. Beside them lay two full body bags. The warlock spoke. “I’ve enchanted them heavily to look like us. It would be very difficult to detect any magic, and only I could undo it. All you have to do is plant a story in the downworlder community, and we should be as good as dead.”  
The Nephilim boy bent down and unzipped one of the bags half way. Inside was a body that bore the exact appearance of the green warlock. “Can I ask who’s body’s these are, or will I regret it?” He asked, closing the bag.  
Raphael crossed his arms. “I stole them from a mundane morgue. Never fear, Alexander Lightwood, I haven’t broken your precious accords.” _Alec! That was his name. And the warlock must_ _be Raphael’s boyfriend, Ragnor._   
Alec sighed, bringing his fingers through his hair. “You know I never agreed to those.”  
“Raph, we need to go,” The warlock warned, a tender admiration in his eyes. Raphael nodded, giving Ragnor a nervous kiss and turning to Alec.  
Raphael tilted his head, looking Alec over, and stuck out a hand. Alec shook it, but visibly shuddered at Raphael’s cold touch. “Thanks for helping me, I guess. You really didn’t have to. Just, promise me again that you won’t tell Magnus? I know you love him, but I don’t want him to be put in danger because of me. He’s already done that before and I don’t feel like owing him any more favors,” Raphael told Alec before he picked up the bags and went through the portal.  
“I promise, and you don’t have to thank me. Anything for a friend,” Alec responded with a small smile.  
“I’ve told you before, I don’t do friends,” Raphael said, smirking, before leaping through the portal.  
“Take care of him,” Alec told Ragnor before patting him goodbye on the back.  
“I could say the same for you,” Ragnor said.  
“Just stay safe, I’ll find a way to contact you if anything noteworthy happens.”  
“In our world, when is that not the case?”  
“True, now go catch your boyfriend. He’s probably wondering what’s taking you so long.” Alec said. Ragnor turned with a laugh and jumped through the portal before it closed with a wink.  
With yet another sigh, Alec eyed the body bags. “Why, oh why..,” Alec began, shaking his head, and burying his face in his young but calloused hands. “Did it have to be me?” Alec smiled, but then he turned around and that immediately turned into a face of horror. “Oh, shit.”  
Catherine stood up, about to take her leave, when she glanced back at the shadowhunter. He wasn’t there. Catherine turned to run, but strong hands wrapped around her shoulders and torso. She screamed, so high pitched, so childlike yet un-human, that the windows on the cars along the street all shattered. Lights came on from the windows above, but the nephilim glamoured the two of them, and covered her mouth. “Hey,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m gonna let you go, but I need you to stay here and talk to me, ok?” Catherine nodded, and Alec released her as fast as he had caught her.  
She turned to leave, but Alec caught her wrist. “We had a deal,” he hissed. Catherine screamed again, and this time, some people came onto the street. The mundanes cluelessly wandered about, unsuccessfully trying to source the scream, before giving up and returning inside. The downworlders, however- a warlock and two werewolves- approached. As downworlders could see through glamours, there was nowhere to hide.  
“Yo, nephilim!” one of the werewolves yelled. “How about ya let her go, a’ight? What’d she ever do to ya?”  
“This is a private matter!” Alec yelled back, and them whispered into Catherine’s ear. “Tell them to leave us. I need to talk to you about Raphael Santiago.”  
The downworlders were getting awfully close now. The warlock, a young man with curly, chestnut brown hair and light purple skin that Catherine recognized as one of Camille’s many, many lovers had opened his hands, and orange light issued from them. “Which way do you want to do this, Shadowhunter?” He called.  
I’ll take this time to say that Catherine was a Broadway actress. She had worked for Broadway since she was human, back in the 70’s, and had won a few awards. When Catherine did what she did next, she just hoped that Alec would be able to keep up and play along. Catherine giggled, moving Alec’s reluctant hand to her waist. She turned toward him, smiling drunkenly. “Oh, AlEc!” She called out.  
“Oh what?” He asked, very confused.  
“Play along, Shadowhunter, I’m sending ‘em of,” she whispered. She swayed in his arms, and gestured to the downworlders, “isN’t he AdorABle! So proTectIVe!” She kissed Alec, who did not kiss back, but rather sputtered awkwardly, and turned back to the very confused downworlders. “He sAYs I’Ve Had too mUCh to drINk! What A DoLl!”  
“I’m sorry, what?” Said one of the werewolves. They lowered their defences.  
“My bOyfriENd… SayS I’VE drAnK to MUch… IT’s FuNnY, hoW wHEn we niGhT CHildRen DriNk frOm dRuNK HuMAns *hiccup* wE haVe a BiT Of trOUblE… cOnTRolliNg oURSelVes…” Catherine staggered, and Alec awkwardly spoke.  
“I think we should get home, don’t you, _dear?_ ” he asked, and turned away to avoid showing his obviously lying face.  
“Ha hA. Oh yEs.” She giggled, and made a show of starting to drag Alec in the other direction.  
The first werewolf laughed, and clasped the other werewolf on the back. “Don’t have too much fun with her, Nephilim! I’ve always wanted to try vampire, and that one’s gorgeous!” He whistled after Catherine.  
“Trust me, vampire’s are great, but have you ever been with a dryad? Damn, those ones are the best!” Said the warlock, and the group of downworlders went away.  
Alec stared after them for a moment, and them wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “That is probably the straightest thing I’ve ever done,” he finally said, his cheeks still pink with embarrassment. “But you are a good actress.”  
“Thanks,” Catherine said, brushing her hair back behind her headband. “I work on Broadway. Now what was that about Raphael and the warlock?”  
Alec looked around, and then quietly explained. After a few moments, he finished. “And so, he asked me to fake their deaths to protect them from Camille. These bodies are enchanted to look just like them. Raphael and Ragnor are gone now.” He paused, looking very, very tired for a moment. “And I have to convince everyone that I killed their beloved friends.” Once again, he buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell Magnus. I can’t tell him…”  
Catherine placed a hand on her hip. “You don’t have to tell Magnus anything. I’ll do it.”  
Alec looked up in shock. “What?”  
“I’ll do it. I’ll bring the bodies to Camille. Nobody likes me anyway, I don’t have any reputation to uphold. Knowing her, Camille will probably be overjoyed, and promote me. I can spy for you, help you clear their names. Have you heard what she told the Clave that they did?” Alec shook his head. “She told them that Raphael’s gone rogue out of anger over the Cold Peace and is killing mundanes. Most people don’t believe it, but it will grow, knowing that deceitful be-otch. And she’s bribed other downworlders to spread rumors of Ragnor Fell summoning greater demons. After the peace, well, the shadowhunters won't be hesitant to jump on it, whether they believe it or not.”  
Alec faced her. “But why would you do this for us? You’re putting your life at risk.”  
Catherine laughed nervously. “Well, I’m an actress. It’ll be the biggest stunt of my career.”  
Alec placed a kind hand on her shoulder. “That’s not all, is it?”  
Catherine shook her head, looking away. “I- I love Raphael. I have since I first laid eyes on him. If he won't be with me, I want him to be happy with someone else.”  
Alec smiled softly. “That’s pretty selfless of you.”  
Catherine returned a smile. “I do my best.” Catherine eyed the body bags. “Now, if I’m going to show up with their bodies, I need to look like I fought them. After all, what’s an actress without her costume?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I love Catherine. She's like a mix of everyone in my friend group, and we even named her after our friend Elizabeth. (she goes by her middle name, her first name is actually Catherine- But you don't really care, do you? Probably not, so I'll just stop now before things get awkward. Oh yeah, they already did. I hate myself.) Anyways, props to Maddy for writing this chapter! I seriously was cackling while editing at the scene where Cathy pretended to be drunk, and afterwards when Alec said that it was probably the straightest thing he'd ever done. With that being said, thanks for reading and I'll see you all next chapter!


	6. A lie for a life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so y'all know, this chapter will be the only one from Camille's perspective, we just thought it'd be fun to write this scene this way. trust us, her brain is NOT somewhere you want to be in. However, it was cool for just this one time. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Camille Belcourt lounged on a sofa in Hotel Dumort. She was drinking blood from a wine glass, angrily staring at the wall opposite her. _That little Latino brat._ She thought. After letting him into her hotel, making him a part of her circle. What a shame he had seen through her. He had never revered her like the rest. He had always shown her respect, that was true, but he was too smart not to have seen through the make eventually. All the more reason he needed to go. She had started that little lie about him, and soon enough, somebody would kill him. It really was a shame. He was so well liked.  
Camille got up and walked out into the main hall. It was nearing dawn, and most vampires were back from their nightlife and hanging around, talking. More than usual, in fact. The night children were getting scared. After all, there could be nephilim about. She spotted Elliott and Lily sitting on either side of the daylighter, who was showing them something on his phone. They were laughing. Dozens of others milled about, some passed out around the grand central fireplace, some trading bottles of blood to each other. The chatter was loud enough that nobody heard Walker and Archer slam open the doors and scramble in, running up to Camille. She rolled her eyes. She was affectionate of them, but they were so embarrassing sometimes.  
“Mistress…” began Walker, slightly out of breath. “We come bearing news.”  
“Yes, my lady,” cut in Archer, who was beaming with excitement. “Raphael Santiago is-”  
The doors burst open again. This time, a young looking vampire, _(What was her name again? Carla? Carol?)_ covered in blood and limping, entered. All of the vampires looked over at the smell. She was dragging something. No, someone, Camille corrected herself. Two someones.  
“DEAD!” The vampire yelled. “Raphael Santiago and Ragnor Fell are dead, for I have killed them.” There were murmurs in the audience, night children pushing each other to see what she carried. She had drug the warlock by his shirt, and dropped his corpse with a thud upon the floor. The vampire girl had carried the body of Raphael over her shoulder like a fireman, and, taking the greatest care, set his limp carcass down on the dusty carpet of Hotel Dumort.  
Elliott, Lily, and Simon pushed through the front layer of the crowd, and cried out in shock. Elliott and Lily had to grab Simon’s arms so he wouldn’t rush forward. Camille didn’t know whether Simon had planned to go forth and grovel over his sire’s corpse, or try and kill the little vampire who had killed him, but she decided that it was unlikely that he had planned at all. Simon bit his lip to keep from crying out again, his fangs piercing his lips and drawing blood. Lily was crying, and Elliott was pulling at his hair, his eyes glistening with tears as he muttered over and over “No, it can’t be…” But it very much was.  
The vampire girl stepped delicately over the bodies, and walked through a part in the crowd all the way to Camille, where she bowed her head. “I have slain Santiago and Fell to protect our people. If the Nephilim believed that our people were a threat as a whole, we would be in danger. I have weeded out our failed brethren. I only hope that this may please you, my lady.”  
Camille walked forward, the crowd once again parting for her. She passed by Ragnor Fell's corpse. She had known him for a very long time. _He was a decent fellow, it's unfortunate that he_ _had to die. But he really should never have gotten mixed up with Raphael. That was who her real anger was for._ Camille shook her head coldly and continued over to the other carcass in the room.  
Camille smiled, her fangs glistening in the dark room. She knelt down beside Raphael’s corpse, falling to the floor with the grace only an immortal could possess. His muscles were contracted, as if he had died suddenly or had died a while before Camille had gotten a hold of him, and he almost smelled… mundane. How odd. _He was just a boy, really. A very pretty one. His eyes were frozen_ _open, glassed over and hazy, his throat torn out, and the front of his pretty little suit painted red with his own blood. His soft lips were parted, as if in surprise. He hadn’t expected death._ Camille thought with a smile. _And why should he have? He couldn’t have possibly thought this little thing could threaten him._ She reached out and brushed a stray curl off of his forehead.  
Standing up, Camille stared out at the small sea of mostly grieving, angry faces. The daylighter, Elliott, and Lily had needed to leave the room, so they wouldn’t have to look upon his face. Camille turned to the vampire girl. “Well,” She announced. “It looks like we have a job opening then,” she proceeded to point one pale finger at the vampire girl. “How would you like to fill it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Simon! I just want to hug him. He's so innocent, he doesn't deserve this! But alas, it is for the best. we must protect the beauty that is ragnael. Credits go to the glorious ginger without a soul, Maddy Riveroot. Honestly I think that may be the only reason she could write from Camille's perspective. After all, how do you write a character without a soul or emotions unless you don't have one yourself? Anyways, thanks for reading this chapter, hope you enjoyed it, and I will see all of you in the next one!


	7. When you've seen too many die, and never enough live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am depression. And so is Magnus, it seems...

Alec felt terrible, in all senses of the word. He was a terrible person, felt like complete garbage, other comparisons that he was too distraught to come up with at the moment. Magnus was doing even worse. Alec had been the one to tell him and the others about Ragnor and Raphael, except for Simon. He’d had to find out the hard way. Everyone was doing badly, but Simon and Magnus were doing the worst. Simon had lost the vampire that created him, and Magnus had lost two of his best friends. And now the only person Alec could talk to about the truth was practically a stranger. It was like the universe had looked down on Alec and thought to itself, “You know what? Let’s be a jerk to this guy for no reason. That’s sounds like fun, and totally fair!” The universe sucked.  
But no matter. Right now, he had to comfort his bae. There was not time to wallow in his own self pity, Mags was more important. Magnus had not eaten in days, not since Alec had come home after sorting things out with Catherine and exchanging numbers. Mags hadn’t showered, changed, slept, and barely even talked either. It had all just been drowning pain in alcohol and crying to the sound of sad songs. He no longer had the familiar scent of sandalwood, wasn’t wearing glitter, or makeup, or a fancy outfit, his hair wasn’t spiked up. Everything about him said, ‘Fix me. I’m broken. I’m empty. I’ve lost something. I’m no longer whole. I’m not me. Help.’ It was like being in the cast of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, and Magnus was Bella. Alec hated that movie, and being a part of it even more.   
“Mags? Sweetie? You haven’t showered in days, and no offense but it’s starting to show. How about you go take a shower while I order us some food from that chinese place you like?” Alec asked his broken boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch surrounded by his filth staring blankly out the window.  
“Ragnor loved chinese. He’s the one that showed me that place. Now he’ll never get to eat there again…” Magnus said in a monotone voice that broke into a sob at the end. He began shaking in quiet, raspy whimpers. It hurt Alec so much to see him like this, but he couldn’t let Magnus know the truth. Not yet. He wouldn’t let Magnus get any more hurt than he already had because of Alec. He’d never forgive himself if that happened.  
“Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay, Mags. They’re in a better place, and they have each other. It’s okay to mourn, but you have to stay strong. For them. That’s what they’d want. Now, to the shower! You smell like a ravager demon, not the King of Glitter that I know you truly are.”  
After dragging Magnus’s limp, desolate body to the shower; Alec ordered some food and sat down to think. It had been a week since Ragnor and Raphael had left. He and Catherine had become friends, but only because she was the one person he could talk to about anything after all. Right after she had brought the fake bodies into the Hotel de’Mort, Simon had called everyone he could to tell them the news. Alec was actually pretty happy about this, because it saved him from having to tell Magnus. When he’d gotten home, he’d found Magnus on the couch, looking the worst Alec had ever seen him, rocking back and forth in the fetal position.   
“Alec?” He’d asked weakly.  
“I know. And I’m so, so sorry.”  
“I never even got to say goodbye. Of course, you rarely do. But still, It’d have been nice.”  
“I was there. I tried to stop her. But I couldn’t. I was too late, and she was too fast. I got to them before they died, but I couldn’t stop the bleeding. She ran away before I could get to her, and then they were dead. Ragnor said to tell you he wished he could be at the wedding, and that it’ll be hard to find a better flower girl than Raphael. Raphael said to tell you thank you for everything, and goodbye. They died in each other’s arms. Holding hands. At least there’s that. I just wish I could have done more. I’m so sorry.”  
“I love you so much, you know that don’t you? And you did everything you could. That’s all that I could ever ask for.”  
Magnus hadn’t moved or talk or anything really for the rest of that day. Or the next one. The one after that he had some soup, which Alec force fed him. Then the day after that he slept for an hour, he’d finally become exhausted from crying. Then he did nothing for another three days. Alec had decided to leave Chairman Meow with Simon and Izzy, just so he didn’t starve to death. That brought him to today. Magnus seemed to have become progressively worse. He’d gotten over the stage of denial by day three, but Magnus still seemed like just a hollow shell of misery compared to his normal self. Alec guessed that it made sense, he’d lost two his closest and oldest friends at once. That had to be jarring. Alec just wished it wasn’t so dangerous to tell him the truth.  
Five minutes later, the food had arrived and Magnus was out of the shower. Alec remembered the time on their vacation in Europe when a group of ravager demons had interrupted them while they had been about to do the ‘devil’s tango’ in the shower. It seemed almost cruel to remember something fondly while his partner was in such a devastated state over something not even true. Alec really was a terrible boyfriend. If Magnus ever did find out, he’d definitely never forgive him.  
Of course, that’s exactly what Magnus had thought about Alec with the whole secret about his past, and he’s been wrong about that. What’s to say this won’t be any different? Who was Alec kidding, of course this would be completely different! And that fact was eating him up inside. But he couldn’t leave Magnus now, he needed Alec. even if Alec was the entire cause for his pain in the first place.  
Maybe this was why the ancient Greeks portrayed love as an arrow. It comes suddenly, immediately taking hold. It hurts, and it can kill you, but taking it out would often only make matters worse. It’s destructive, fatal, and immediate. People underestimate it, not truly understanding until they themselves are shot. The only difference is that with love the victim rarely wants the arrow gone.  
So, as he sat next to his perfect, shattered boyfriend, watching Gilmore Girls reruns, and eating chinese take out, Alec finally understood what people meant when they said that secrets eat you up inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, I am sobbing. Also, the image of Raphael as a flower girl is beautiful. anyways, chapter credits go to Anna Nightshade. I hope you enjoyed it, and we'll see you next chapter!


	8. Monte Carlo sucks, but not as much as Vegas did at least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff than normal. It was unnerving to write, to say the least.

Raphael hated casinos. He hated gambling. He hated liquor of any sort. He hated parties. He hated crowds. He hated bright things. He hated loud noises. He hated people, especially drunk, loud, flashy, gambling mobs of mundanes that frequented casinos. So, He hated Monte Carlo. See, Monte Carlo was all of those things, but multiplied by a million. And guess where Ragnor had decided they were staying? You guessed it! Monte freaking Carlo. Sure, Raphael loved Ragnor more than anything, but honestly. This made absolutely no sense. Both of them absolutely despised the place, beaten only by Camille and Magnus asking him to be the flower girl for his and Alec’s wedding. Magnus. Raphael wondered how he was holding up. Probably not well, there were few things that could make him crack, but among those were Ragnor and Raphael. Sadly, He now thought that both were dead. Alec would take care of him though, that was for sure.   
But back to the evil that was Monte Carlo. They were going to stay in Peru, but that hadn’t worked our. Raphael had been to Vegas once, hated it. **We don’t talk about that.** This place was quite similar in nature to there. That nature being, causing Raphael to want to die. Or at least killing many others for compensation. Sadly, neither of those were viable options at the moment, so he resigned to brooding around the cheap hotel room. Ragnor was out right now, scoping the area out and trying to find somewhere to get blood legally. You’d think that somewhere like this they’d have a blood bank, but nope.   
To take his mind off things, he decided to turn on the TV. there were two channels not related to cringy love stories, Sports, renovating, or the depressing mundane news, and from those he could either watch NCIS or Suicide Squad. Seeing as he already had PTSD from Simon showing him photos of the newest variation of the Joker, he opted for NCIS.   
Just as the first commercials came on, his phone beeped signalling a text.  
Catherine- hey Raphy! Wat do u want the theme of ur funeral 2 b? I was thinking either floral or murder mystery. I think murder mystery sounds more u tho.  
What the…? Did she actually go insane or did she know more than she should? His phone beeped again.  
Catherine- Oh i know u and Rag r alive btw. I saw u leave through the portal. I covered 4 u and said i killed u both. Alec and i r kind of a team now. No one else knows tho.  
Okay. This was news.   
Raphael- wait, what?!  
Catherine- sooo… floral?  
Raphael- no, I’d actually just prefer to be burned and my ashes dumped in the forest, but that’s not the point!  
Catherine- oh ok. But what is ur point then?  
Raphael- My point is, how did u see us?  
Catherine- i smelled something odd, and followed it to u.  
Raphael- oddly convenient but whatever. U do realize how detrimental this could be 4 u?  
Catherine- wut do u mean?  
Raphael- several people, namely Magnus, Simon, his friends, Lilly, and Elliott, will probably try to kill u now if u don’t do damage control.  
Catherine- thx 4 the heads up. Gtg now bai.  
Raphael- k bye. Don’t text me again unless it’s life or death.  
Catherine- no promises!  
Raphael- i hate u.  
Catherine- Take care of yourself, Santiago ;)  
As he turned off his phone with a sigh worthy of a gold medal in the Olympics, Raphael thought about how he’d gotten here. Back when he was still a mundane, if someone had told him where he’d be in just over 50 years, he’d never have believed them. In fact, he’d have probably called them a lunatic and called the cops. And yet, here he was. A vampire on the run in Monte Carlo from the most powerful vampire in New York, with his warlock boyfriend who together faked their deaths with the help of another vampire who Raphael was pretty sure had a crush on him and a nephilim boy who was dating the warlock who saved his life. What even is his life (death?) any more? But, Raphael was okay with it. Because if he hadn’t become a vampire, he wouldn’t have found Ragnor.   
Ragnor. He was amazing. Selfless, beautiful- but looks have never mattered to Raphael, it was just an added bonus-, kind, generous, and so many other things that if Raphael tried to list them all out he’d die before finishing. Generally just the perfect boyfriend.   
As if Raphael’s thoughts had summoned him, Ragnor was suddenly coming through the door of the small hotel room. His arms were full of bags, and he was clearly struggling not to drop anything.  
“Here, let me get some of those.” Raphael said while grabbing some of the bags from the warlock’s full arms.  
“Thanks babe.” Ragnor replied, clearly out of breath.  
“So what is all of this?”  
“Well, some groceries, some necessities I forgot when packing, some blood for you, some other stuff as well.”  
“Great! You know, right before you got back I was thinking of you.”  
“All good things I hope.”  
“No, only terrible things like how perfect you are and how you’re the best boyfriend ever.”  
“Yeah, that’s absolutely horrible. I feel attacked.” The pair laughed a little then lapsed into a comfortable silence while putting everything away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I finally ended a chapter on a relatively happy note! I didn't know that that was possible. Anyways, chapter credits go to Anna Nightshade this time, but editing and all that was from the mighty prowess of Maddy the Soulless Ginger (she doesn't read these parts, I can say whatever I want). So, thanks for reading our story so far, and we will see you in the next chapter. Buh-Bye!


	9. Magnus and Simon are what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not updating yesterday, wifi was down. Enjoy the chapter!

“Hay Raph?” Ragnor asked after they finished, putting his chin on the vampire’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around the boy’s waist.  
“Yes?” Raphael responded with a loving smile.  
“Do you really think that I am perfect?”  
“Well, yeah. Why?” His boyfriend responded quietly.  
“I just don’t feel like I am. That’s all.” Ragnor told him with a shrug.  
“Well that makes sense. Most people don’t feel like that. If you did, I’d be worried and call you narcissistic. I wouldn’t date you if you were narcissistic though, so I don’t know where I’m going with this thought. Chimichangas!”   
Ragnor laughed softly. “It’s just I feel like I’m weighing you down constantly. I can’t even get you a proper home in a place you enjoy.”  
“Rag, anywhere is home as long as I’m with you.” Raphael turned around and kissed Ragnor softly. “And you know what? I love this home. Especially the green.”  
Ragnor smiled and kissed his boyfriend back. “I love you too.”  
Just then, Raphael’s phone buzzed with a phone call. He ignored it for a moment, before Ragnor picked it up, glancing at the caller ID. “Who is ‘Catherine,’ Raphael?” He asked. Raphael’s brow furrowed, and he snatched the phone from his boyfriend’s hand.   
Hitting the button to pick up, he spoke. “You shouldn’t have this number.”  
“Don’t be a prick, boy. I’m about to get my ass handed to me, and i don’t need any of your tom-foolery.”  
Raphael sat back, brushing his hair back with his hand. “Whoa, watch your language. What’s wrong?”  
There was a lot of cursing and shuffling before Catherine answered. “Magnus Bane and Simon Lewis are trying to kill me! If you can’t help me, at least tell me what to do!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one was kinda short. Okay, really short. That day I was pretty tired, sorry. The next one is better, I promise! Chapter credits go to the lovely Miss Nightshade, as does the random line of chimichangas! See you next chapter.


	10. A sticky situation and THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might I just say, if a friend asks you to chose your favorite ship of all time out of your top three, they are either the truest friend because they know your favorite ships, or they are evil. or both. My friend did this to me once and I died a little inside. Like, How can I even attempt to chose between Ragnael, Malec, and Solangelo? How? It simply just isn't done. Anyways, rant over. Enjoy the chapter!

Catherine was getting bored. The only person that she could talk to about anything was Alec, because everyone else hated her now. Well, Camille didn’t but she’s probably not a real person. She definitely didn’t have a soul, that was for sure. But, even Alec had grown distant due to having to care for Magnus. That made sense, but still. Even vampires needed companionship, despite everything the nephilim might tell people.  
She decided to tell Lilly and Elliott about everything.. They were trustworthy, right? Besides, they were friends. Well, used to be. It would probably be better to do in person. So, she got up and started walking to Lily's place.  
About halfway to her friend’s apartment, things began to go wrong. Pulling out her phone, she called Raphael.  
“Don’t be a prick, boy. I’m about to get my ass handed to me, and i don’t need any of your tom-foolery.”  
Raphael chuckled. “Whoa, watch your language. What’s wrong?”  
Catherine whispered into the phone, “I think Magnus Bane and Simon Lewis are going to try to kill me! If you can’t help me, at least tell me what to do!” She could feel several pairs of eyes on her, and things following her. Then, someone grabbed her and quickly dragged her into a dark alley, and the phone dropped to the ground, somewhere out in the street. She could still hear the voice on the phone calling out the her.  
“Hello? Catherine? Catherine, answer me right now, or so help me…” she didn’t hear the end of his threat, as she now had bigger fish to fry.  
“Why did you do it?” A male voice demanded.  
“Hey! Let me go!” Catherine yelled, but the person did not let go. Catherine was getting a sense of deja vu. Although this clearly was not Alec Lightwood, and she wouldn’t be able to get out of trouble with a kiss this time.  
“Um, no. Definitely not. I don’t just let killers off the hook that easily. Especially not after you killed my sire,” The voice said again. This time, she recognized it.  
“Simon? What the hell are you doing?” She asked.  
“Interrogating you, of course! What else? Well, this how they do it in the movies, at least.” Simon yelled back, clearly not caring if any mundanes overheard.  
“Just tell us why you killed our friends, or you die.” Magnus, now visible, said.  
Catherine couldn’t help but smile. “You wouldn’t kill me!”  
“And just how sure are you, Cathy?” Magnus asked, his amber cat eyes burning with magic.  
“Just let me call someone, they’ll explain. You can trust me. I’m not even armed.” She said, holding up her hands. Simon looked at Magnus, who shrugged. Magnus handed her his phone, and she found Alec’s contact. She called him, and placed him on speaker phone.  
“I don’t know about this. What if she warns somebody?” Simon said, but neither of them made any move to stop her.  
“Alec?” She asked into the phone.  
Magnus growled. “You really think you can convince my boyfriend to convince me to not kill you? He knows how important they were to me.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Your boyfriend and Simon are trying to kill me. Please explain to them that I had no other choice than to kill Raphael and Ragnor.”  
There was a long sigh on the other end of the line, and Alec seemed to be in turmoil over what to say. Finally, he spoke. “It’s true. Camille knew that she was always obsessed with Raphael, and that she’d know where he was. So, Camille told her that if she didn’t find him, she’d kill her. She had no options. So, to the garve the pair went. Ragnor being there too was just an unfortunate byproduct.”  
“How on earth do you know all this?” Simon asked.  
“Byproduct?” Magnus asked with a strained voice, at the exact same time.  
“That’s not what I meant. You know that. I just mean that his death was probably not part of the original plan. Right Cathrine?” Alec said. Catherine agreed.  
Magnus still looked angry. “And what about Raphael Santiago? Why did Camille want him dead, exactly?”  
“The same reason she has for everything. Jealousy. Lust for power. Lust for him. He was beginning to have more and more support to take over the Hotel de’Mort, and so she saw that one solution was to kill him. I don’t agree with it any more than you do, but I wasn’t left with many options now, was I?” Catherine said.  
“But what about my question? How do you know so much Alec?” Simon asked, still dubious.  
There was an awkward pause. “Well, I really only know as much as Catherine has told me. And what I’ve heard on the street. You know.. Uhm.. normal places.”  
“Normal places? Really? And what even classifies as normal for you, Alec?” Simon said, clearly still not convinced entirely.  
“I.. well.. uhm...Taki’s?” Alec answered weakly.  
“Taki’s?” Simon repeated, his eyes rolling.  
“Yes?” Alec responded.  
Catherine sighed, and finally said, “So, uhm, do you get it?”  
“No, not really,” Said Magnus. “My understanding, after all of this is that you and Alec are up to something, and it involves the deaths of my two dearest friends. Because I trust my boyfriend’s judgment even more than my own, I trust that it is not against our best wishes. However, I am concerned that only you two as far as I can tell know about it.”  
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Simon said.  
“Can you let me down now, then?” Catherine asked.  
“Fine. But this is not over,” Simon said, pointing a finger at Catherine.  
“Thanks Alec.” Catherine said, hanging up.  
“No problem.” he said, before the phone beeped signaling the end of the call.  
Magnus looked at the vampire girl. “I don’t know if I fully trust you. But I trust Alec, and he seems to have deemed you okay. Don’t make me regret believing in you.” After saying that, he walked away with Simon.  
“Well that was something.” Catherine muttered to herself, her chest heaving from the rush of adrenaline. She waited a moment before walking out of the alley way and picking up her cell phone. Raphael had hung up. With a sigh, she continued on her way to Lily’s house.  
About fifteen minutes later she arrived at the door. She began to knock and called to the other side, “Hey? Lilly? Look, I know you really hate me right now, but trust me there is a lot more going on here that you don’t know about. Just, let me in, okay? I can explain.”  
“What?” Lilly had opened the door and was now glaring at her like a tasmanian devil.  
“Wow. Chill. Just, let me in and everything will make sense soon. Is Elliott here?”  
“Technically, yes. Mentally? When is he ever,” Lilly said, moving aside and directing Catherine to the sofa. “Now, explain everything. And this better be good or you are not surviving the night.”  
‘What is it with people and wanting to kill me tonight?’ Catherine thought to herself. And so, she began to explain everything. Periodically, she’d answer questions that Lilly would ask. By the end of it, Lilly was looking at her like you might look at a person you’d known your whole life to be a human, but who had just turned into a wolf and said, “Hey! I’m a werewolf!”  
“So, we cool?” Catherine asked hopefully.  
“What the fuck, man? You’ve been able to tell me this for a week! Why didn’t you tell me all of this sooner? Everything is out of hand! The Downworld is falling apart without Raphael to keep us in check with the nephilim. Where are they? We have to go see them!” Lilly was getting more excited than Catherine had seen her since that one bean she liked had performed live at the Bowery Ballroom ten years ago. Who was it again? Eh, didn’t matter.  
“I don’t know, I can call them tomorrow if it really matters to you that much.” Catherine said.  
“Yay! Thank you so much. I’m so glad to have my favorite little actress back!” Lilly squealed and hugged Catherine.  
She stayed there that night watching bad movies and talking about random stuff. The next morning once Elliott sobered up and stopped trying to “kill” Catherine (he was really just pointing finger guns at her and saying ‘Pow! You’re dead now!’), She explained the whole story to him as well.  
“Wow. So Ragnael is not dead? You aren’t evil?” Elliott asked once she was done.  
“Yep. I’m not evil. What’s Ragnael?” Catherine responded.  
“Oh, that’s our name for Raphael and Ragnor.” Lilly explained.  
“I ship it.” Catherine smiled and took a sip of her soda.  
“So, who’s better? Malec or Ragnael?” Lily asked.  
“Why do you torment me so?” Catherine bemoaned, over exaggeratedly putting the back of her hand to her forehead and moaning in false despair. Everyone laughed, and they spent the rest of the day goofing off and having fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for Simon. Thinking his sire is dead, when he's really not. Also, Elliot's reaction to everything is just great. IDK, I enjoy his character. It's like a drunk three year old. Chapter credit is shared, we both did parts. See you next time!


	11. Because I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long one. It is the very definition of a rollercoaster of emotions, from start to end. I hope you enjoy it!

The next day when Raphael woke up, he noticed that his phone was bombarded with messages from Lilly and Elliott. Great, two more people that I have to worry about. He quickly skimmed the texts over, noticing that the general idea was asking him where he was. Well, I trust them. Couldn’t hurt, right? He quickly responded to the text, telling them that he was in Monte Carlo and not to come there, no matter what.  
After that, he tried to call Catherine. She hadn’t responded last night, and he had been worried, frantically bombarding both her and Alec with messages. Alec had responded, insisting that everything was good, but he still wanted to hear her voice. It’d make him feel a hell of a lot better. She didn’t pick up. Right as he was about to put his phone away, he got a text from Catherine.  
Cathy- Sorry. I was in a meeting with our beloved leader. What’s up?  
Raphael sighed with relief. She wasn’t dead, or in danger. After a moment’s pause, his relief turned to anger.  
Raphael- ¡Maldito sea, Catherine! I was worried sick about u. Why didn’t u text me back yesterday!? I was worried u were dead, or worse!  
Cathy- Oh, don’t be such a mom, Raphael, I’m fine. Also, you probs shouldn’t have told your two friends where u are.  
Raphael- why?  
Cathy- Because now they are freaking out and planning a year long trip there.  
Raphael- Dios.  
Cathy: They really respect and adore you, Raphael.  
Raphael: well, thanks 4 the heads up.  
Cathy- no problem. I'mma try and convince them not to go, for both our sakes. Also, sorry about telling them u r alive, i was just lonely because all of my friends hated me for fake killing u.  
Raphael- it’s cool, i get it. But knowing my friends they will not be convinced.  
Cathy- we’ll never know if we don’t try.  
Raphael- just make sure to give me warning so I can clear the hotel of alcohol.  
Cathy- we both know that won’t stop Elliott, nothing will.  
Raphael- true  
Cathy- i have to go now, they have started looking for houses to buy for your honeymoon.  
Raphael- Dios. well, bye. And good luck.  
Cathy- Good luck to you too. Bai!  
Raphael put down his phone, sat up, and covered his face with his hands. What have I done? It’s not like they can’t be trusted, I know none of them will tell anyone who would try to hurt me or Ragnor. But at the same time, what if Elliott gets drunk and lets something slip? What if one of them tells Magnus? He definitely can’t know. He’d lose everything! And I can’t even begin to imagine what all of this must be doing to Alec. Nope, If I think about that I might just die, even if I am technically already dead. What am I going to do? I shouldn’t have dragged Ragnor into all of this. He deserves better. I’m the one Camille was after, not him. If I had just waited a little bit longer, he’d be safe right now. But I was selfish. And now he’s in danger, in hiding, without a home. All because of me. Raphael mulled everything over in his head while he sat on the edge of the bed and Ragnor slept peacefully. He really was beautiful, especially when he smiled. He was smiling right now at something in his dream. Raphael wondered what was making him so happy. After creepily staring at his boyfriend for longer than he’d admit while keeping at least some of his dignity, Ragnor woke up with a yawn and lazy stretch.  
“Hey gorgeous. what time is it?” Ragnor asked while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and craning his neck to make eye contact with his boyfriend. Dios, how can one person be so beautiful?  
Raphael checked his watch. It had been a late birthday gift from Magnus Bane when he turned 16. Magnus had been so upset that Raphael hadn’t hold him it was the latter’s birthday, that he hadn’t spoken to him for the next three days. When he did, he had given Raphael a simple silver watch that had he had magically engraved ~To help you keep track, now that you have all the time in the world~. Raphael had never liked it. It reminded him of his immortality, and also, anything from Magnus Bane must never be shown. That was an unspoken rule among Camille’s inner circle, for obvious reasons. Wearing it was a sort of protest for him. However, it made him sad now, to think about Magnus. “6 pm.”  
Ragnor seemed annoyed. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”  
“Because you are so beautiful when you sleep, I didn’t want to interrupt you lest I be deprived of your perfect face.”  
“Stalker,” Ragnor muttered before lazily kissing Raphael’s lips.  
Raphael smiled, and walked out into the kitchen. From there, he could access the balcony, where it was just beginning to get dark out. There was some sort of festival going on down below, and it seemed that it was going to go on all evening. As soon as the sun was no longer spread across their balcony, but rather it was shadowed by the next building, Raphael stepped out, and admired the people roaming the street below. There were lots of people in costumes, preparing to take part in some sort of parade. Plenty of glitter-and-flower covered floats were spread along the narrow streets, and again, he couldn’t help but think of Magnus.  
Raphael never thought of himself as vain, but he knew that it must have been really hard on Magnus to learn that both of his friends were dead.  
“Hey babe, what’re you thinking about?” Ragnor asked, walking up behind Raphael.  
“Magnus. I pity him. I… know he must be having a difficult time. And the Lightwood boy, and Catherine… they’re trying so hard to help us. I just don’t feel worth it, sometimes. All that drama and pain… I just...” Raphael trailed off, but Ragnor understood what he meant.  
“I get that, but just know that if they care enough to help us then it has to be worth it. Everything will turn out okay in the end. I hope…” Ragnor said the last part under his breath, but Raphael heard him all the same. Vampire hearing and such.  
“I trust you. You’re right. I’m probably just being paranoid,” Raphael said.  
“Hey,” said Ragnor, giving Raphael a hug. “It’s alright. This will all blow over soon enough. I’m going to go out and see if the downworld has any word on Camille’s actions. I’ll be back in a few hours, alright?  
“Okay. I love you,” Raphael said, giving Ragnor one last kiss on the cheek before the warlock left, leaving Raphael out in the cold. Not that he could feel it anyways.  
As he began to get lost in thought, his phone rang.  
“Hello?” he answered without looking at the caller ID.  
“Yeah so just to let you know, Elliott and Lily are already booking tickets to arrive in Monte Carlo within the next five hours. I can’t stop them. Sorry.” Catherine’s voice said through the phone. She sounded exhausted.  
“Are you okay?” Raphael couldn’t help but ask, he was too curious.  
“What do you think? Elliott’s… well, Elliott; and Lily is acting like a psychotic, obsessed child. I don’t like being the sane one in any situation, it doesn’t suit my aura.”  
“Yes, feel my pain that I’ve been going through for decades.”  
“I pity your sanity.”  
“What sanity?”  
“Ha ha. Now, help me!”  
“Sorry, no can do. I’m busy being hunted by a crazy vampire Bee-with-an-itch named Camille.”  
“Well, at least by tomorrow they’ll be your problem. I have to stay here to take care of damage control. Oh great.”  
“What?”  
“Elliott’s trying to pack a flamethrower.”  
“What?!”  
“Gotta go. Bai!” she hung up.  
_I should probably call Ragnor to warn him about the incoming onslaught of crazy._ Raphael decided. With that thought in mind, he dialed Ragnor’s number and told him the situation, which he took surprisingly well.  
“Well, now that’s taken care of,” Raphael said to himself while putting his phone back in his pocket. He decided to grab some blood from the fridge while he waited for his boyfriend to return. As he poured a bag into one of the few glasses that came with the hotel, he wondered what might have happened if he’d never met Camille. What if he was turned somewhere else, like London? Or Peru? Would he still have met Ragnor? Probably, but would he have decided to date him? He just wished he could give Ragnor a better life, one not so filled with psycho vampire ladies obsessed with absolute power. But that didn’t matter, this was the reality and he’d have to live with that fact. As Dumbledore once said, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” He may have been just a character in a book, but he was wise. Raphael had to give him that.  
Raphael stared out at the evening sky. The party was raging on the streets below, and the cool breeze rustled his hair. He missed being mundane, sometimes. Being human had always made him feel important, as if he had a true reason in the world. He was sad, when he remembered what he could have had. His mother had died about 40 years before, and his siblings were all adults, with jobs and families. _He could have had that,_ Raphael couldn’t help but think. _He had never wanted a family, but he had always wanted to grow up, and be an accomplished human. Instead,_ _he had been cheated out of a childhood, and never gotten to experience life. But now, with Ragnor, he felt loved, as if he might be able to make up for lost time._ At some point he began to lose track of time, getting lost in his own thoughts. Because of this, Raphael hadn’t been paying attention, and didn’t hear Ragnor enter. Ragnor came up behind him, sliding his hands around Raphael’s waist. “Hey.”  
“Hey. How are you?” Raphael muttered as Ragnor laid soft kisses along the former’s neck.  
“I missed you. The downworlders here are intolerable. They have no sense of morality.”  
“How annoying…” Raphael muttered, as he melted back into Ragnor’s arms. It was at these times that Raphael could put aside his never ending day dream of being loved. Because despite all of his insecurities about what people may have thought of him, Ragnor would never hurt him, not really.  
Raphael turned around, facing Ragnor. He wrapped his arms around Ragnor’s neck, pulling him into a breathless embrace. Ragnor smiled beneath their lips, his dazzling eyes half closed. Ragnor pushed forward in the embrace as Raphael pulled away,, but the vampire slipped his finger between them. “What is it? What’s wrong?”his boyfriend asked, unsure of what Raphael wanted.  
Raphael sighed. Considering he didn’t need air to survive, Raphael knew it must have seemed like he was stalling, which was true, but he couldn’t keep it up forever. “I… I wanted to apologize. For dragging you into this. I wish we’d kept it a secret longer, but I had no idea what the fae were doing, and I thought it was good time to come out. But the peace… and Camille… you don’t have to stay with me, Ragnor.” Raphael looked away, a glint of red tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes.  
To Raphael’s astonishment, instead of Ragnor dropping his hands, his boyfriend pulled him closer, a faint laugh escaping from his pale green lips. “Raph, I’m here with you because _I love_ _you_. Don’t you realize that? I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat, if you asked me too.”  
Raphael could see that Ragnor must have been hurt at the fact that he had needed to explain this. For a moment, all the arrogance, the haughty, prideful, angsty around new people aspects of the two men melted away, and it was just them. As they should be. Together. For a few moments, perhaps they could ignore all of the trials and tribulations they had gone through together. That really was what both of them wanted after all, wasn’t it? Ragnor pulled Raphael back to him by his belt loops, and Raphael slid his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. Their faces were inches apart as the gazed deeply into one another’s eyes, Raphael’s lips parted with the whispered three words everyone wants to hear. “I love you,” he murmured as Ragnor pulled him inside, towards to bed.  
“I love you.” Ragnor repeated, as he pulled Raphael’s shirt off and the two of them slid down onto the silk sheets, kissing passionately.  
“AnD I loVe MoNTe CaRlO!” said a voice from the door. Elliott had burst into to hotel room, completely oblivious that he had walked in on something, and clearly very, very high. He stumbled over to the bed, and passed out shoulder-to shoulder with his master, who was clearly very, very uncomfortable, and, need I remind you, shirtless. Ragnor, who was clearly very, very annoyed, smiled, and brushed his lips over Raphael’s.  
“Darling?”  
“Y-Yes?” Said Raphael, who looked like he would rather marry Camille than deal with this situation. He was side eyeing Elliott wearily.  
“Please get rid of your friend so we might continue.” He said bitterly sitting back. Raphael pushed himself up, picked Elliott up by the torso and hauled him over to the window. Raphael thoughtlessly tossed Elliott out, brushed off his hands, and walked back over to the bed. Lily, who was standing disgruntled in the doorway, brushed past her master without a second thought, and peered out the window. She dropped her bags, her mouth hanging open.  
Lily and Ragnor were shocked. “RAPHAEL!” They shouted in unison.  
“What, it was only four stories. He’s fine.”  
“You threw him out the window!” Lily protested. She face palmed, gathered up her things, and walked towards the door. About half-way, she stopped, looking back at them. She raised an eyebrow when she laid eyes on Raphael’s bare chest, but said nothing. With a brief smile, she told them her and Elliott’s room numbers, and left, making a show of closing the door dramatically on her way out.  
When she was gone, Raphael looked at his boyfriend, his eyes showing the embarrassment brush that his cheeks would not show. “He landed on a flower covered parade float. It’s shaded. He can sleep there for next few days.”  
Ragnor smiled wearily as Raphael climbed back into the bed, curling up in the crook of his boyfriend’s arms. “If I had known how productive you are when motivated, I’d have asked you to do a lot more around the apartment.”  
“Oh, shut up Ragnor,” Raphael said as he drifted off to sleep, but not before muttering some inaudible profanities in Spanish that Ragnor assumed were directed at Elliott. It was little things like this that Ragnor loved about Raphael. With that thought in mind, he too soon drifted into the peaceful abyss of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that one is long. Probably most of my favorite lines in the story are in here. Things like, "because I love you" "it was only four stories" and a few others. also, don't you love how I teased you, then had Elliott burst in? best. cock block. ever. FYI, neither me nor Maddy here are willing to ever write smut, at least as of now. that right there is the closest you are ever gong to get, so enjoy it. Anyways, chapter credits go to both of us this time. I'll see you next chapter!


	12. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one thing to say. BRING. TISSUES.  
> oh, and also enjoy the chapter. It's a depressing one.

Raphael never had nightmares. And few dreams, for that matter. He liked to think he was simply too mature for such things. Tonight, however, this was completely wrong.   
(in the dream)  
Raphael knew he was dreaming. It was one of those weird nightmare where you knew what was going on, but you were like some ghost who could see everything going on around you but no one could see you, or gear you, and you could do nothing about anything.   
He could see Ragnor. He was crying. Camille was there too, she was holding a knife in her hand, smiling maniacally.   
“He’s dead?” Ragnor asked hoarsely.  
“He was worthless, you know. There is really no point in crying over something that is, in all truth, nothing,” she was told Ragnor. Ragnor fell to his knees, looking like a puppet whose strings were let go of by the master. The sight made Raphael feel as if an atomic bomb had fallen on him, the gas crushing his lungs and heart, leaving nothing in its wake but carnage, agony, and despair. And he could do nothing to stop it, he was hopeless.  
Ragnor now looked up, tears still falling silently into the dust. “He was _everything._ ” He hissed through his teeth, glaring at Camille with all the hateful fires of Hell.  
“Perhaps in your mind, but you would be the only one to believe that. He couldn’t love or be loved, for he had no soul. None of my kind do. So what is the point in loving something so empty, and devoid of the capacity for true emotion?” Camille continued, twirling the dagger around.  
“Don’t speak of something you don’t understand. HE had a soul. HE loved me. I loved him. But you. No, you don’t. You have no soul, it died long ago. You will never know true compassion or the meaning of love, so don’t try to fool me with your lies. I have nothing left now, and you never win a fight against a man who just lost everything.”   
Ragnor was clearly broken. The look in his eyes said it all. ‘I had everything, and now I have nothing,’ they said. Raphael wanted more than anything to scream that he was still there, that there was still hope. That he was _alive._ But he was frozen. Unable to be heard. Unable to be seen. Unable to save the only man he ever loved.  
“If you truly have lost it all, then you are more willing to die than ever. If only to be with the one you claim to have loved once again. But when you return to his embrace, will he truly reciprocate your love?” Camille taunted.  
 _Yes! You are my whole world!_ Raphael wanted more than anything to yell. But nothing had changed, he was helpless, at the mercy of the scene unfolding before him.  
Ragnor stood from his position on the ground, and took a step towards Camille. “Yes. Yes he will love me. Yes I have lost it all. And yes, I want to die to be with him.”  
“How sweet. But I won’t kill you. I want to see you suffer. After all, you did say I have no soul,” Camille smiled, a facade of friendliness that was so wrong it made Raphael almost want to vomit if it weren’t for the terrible defeated look on Ragnor’s face. Camille dropped the dagger and was gone. Ragnor picked up the dagger, looking as if he felt so hollow inside that he would be surprised if there was anything more than air in his body.  
Raphael knew what was going to happen before it did. That didn’t change anything, though.   
Ragnor pointed the blade at his heart. “I love you, Raphael.” Then he drove the steel blade into his chest. Then he was dead, his body collapsing in a pool of blood next to Raphael’s feet. And suddenly, the dreamlike spell was gone, as the the scene was so utterly wrong and terrible that it filled him with such a with despair that Raphael fell to his knees, sobbing in the dust.   
_Why? I love you, I need you, I am nothing without you. Why would you do this?_ As he cried, he hugged Ragnor’s corpse. _Without you, I’d die._ He thought. the invisible barrier separating Raphael from the scene before him came down, and Raphael craw;ed his way over to Ragnor's bleeding body. He pulled the knife from Ragnor’s chest. Positioning it over his own chest as Ragnor had, he stabbed his own unbeating heart in the agony of loss.  
And then he finally woke up. He was sobbing, the pillow wet with tears. He could feel Ragnor hugging his shaking body tightly as if his life depended on it. Raphael couldn’t think. Couldn’t move. All he could do was cry even harder.   
“I love you. I’m here. It’s okay, it’s all going to be okay.” Ragnor said quietly into Raphael’s hair over and over. They stayed like this for hours, Ragnor murmuring nothings to Raphael and Raphael slowly calming down until he was finally coherent enough to talk.  
“So what was the nightmare about?” Ragnor asked.  
Raphael sniffled then said, “You-you were talking to… to Camille. Sh-she said I ha-had died. S-so you killed… you killed yourself. I- I couldn’t do anything. And… and when I could, it-it was to late. Y-you were gone. So I… I killed m-myself too…” Raphael broke into sobs once more.  
“I… I love you so much,” Ragnor told him. Raphael realized that Ragnor was crying too.  
“Why are you crying?”  
“Because you are in pain. And because it’s because of me.”  
They stayed silent, curled up under the blankets like that for the rest of the day.   
“I love you, Ragnor.” Raphael whispered.  
“I love you too.”  
“I wish things could always be like this.”  
“Maybe they can be, one day.” Ragnor seemed to smile at the thought.  
“I look forward to when that happens.”  
“So do I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did warn you to bring tissues. I cried while writing it, way more than I'd like to admit. Credits go to Anna Nightshade for this chapter. See you next time!


	13. A vacation for Magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is not doing well in the slightest, to say the least. And Alec is just... so great. Enjoy the chapter!

Alec was worried about Magnus. He had finally started eating, showering, and sleeping normally, but he still wasn’t his regular self. He probably wouldn’t be for a while, but it was still unnerving to see him without any hair gel, glitter, or fancy outfit for almost an entire month now. So, Alec decided that they would go on vacation to Monte Carlo to take Magnus’s mind off things. Magnus had mentioned once that he loved it there, so Alec hoped he might be able to enjoy himself at least a little. He decided to text Catherine about it so that she wouldn’t worry.  
Alec- hey I’m going to take Magnus on a vacation to try and cheer him up.   
Catherine- where are you going?  
Alec- that is for me to know and for you to not find out. I don’t want you following us and walking in on something.  
Catherine- suit yourself, lover boy. I’ll look after your apartment while you’re gone if you’d like.  
Alec- that sounds great! Talk soon, okay?  
Catherine- Okay, bye lover boy.  
Alec- whatever.  
Putting his phone away, he went over to talk to Magnus. “We are going to Monte Carlo. Pack a bag and prepare a portal.”  
“What?” Magnus asked, with a confused expression.  
“We are going to Monte Carlo, I’m going to go meet up with Jace and Simon to grab some stuff but while I’m out why don’t you pack some bags.” Alec repeated.  
“Uhm… okay?” Magnus answered, stunned into submission.   
“Great! I’ll be back in thirty minutes.” Alec said, then left. He was meeting Jace and Simon at Simon and Jordan’s place to deliver his reports on recent demon activity to the next most important person at the New York Institute, which, unfortunately, was his very irresponsible brother/ parabatai.   
Jordan was the one who opened the door. He had popcorn stuck in his hair, and his clothes were disheveled. He had clearly been laughing, as his cheeks had a faint, exhausted blush to them. Either that… or… Alec didn’t finish the thought. Not that he wouldn’t be surprised if Simon was cheating on his sister again, but it wasn’t an image he desired to have burned into his retinas.   
“Hey,” Jordan opening the door wider. “You here to join us? We’re having a great time.”  
“Uhmmm…” Alec stuttered, nervously looking into the room. He couldn’t see anything, but his ideas were being solidified. There was a light coming from the other room, but he could see nothing but the doorway.   
“Jordan, come back! We don’t want to continue without you!” Simon called, his voice traveling with a bouncy aura.   
Alec was getting redder by the second. “Uhmm, If I’m interrupting something, I can- I can just leave these here…” He said, gesturing to the file folder he was holding.  
“Alec? Is that you?” He heard Jace’s voice call from the other room. “Alec, come join us we can make this dynamic trio a quartet!”   
Alec choked at the sound of his parabatai voice. Was Jace cheating on Clary too? “Uhmm, You know, I… uhmm, really should be going…”  
Simon and Jace poked their heads out of the doorway. Jace was shirtless, and he didn’t look to see what Simon was wearing. “Come on, man,” Jace said, also quite flushed. Alec didn’t know what to think. “We’re watching the Wizard of Oz!”  
Alec cocked an eyebrow. “Wait, what?”  
Simon stepped out from behind Jace. He was, to Alec’s relief, fully clothed. “It’s a movie.”  
Alec coughed, trying to hide his sigh of gratitude to the angel that he had been wrong. “Ohhhh.”  
Jordan grinned, tilting his head to the side. “What did you think we were doing?”  
Alec blushed, scratching his head awkwardly. “I… well… I may or may not have thought that the three of you were… you know...”  
He didn’t finish the sentence. The three other boys immediately knew what he meant. Simon, who was a vampire, managed to conceal his pain and awkwardness better than Alec. Jace and Jordan looked bemused. They all started laughing. Jace clapped him on the back and dragged him into the room, where they watched the Wizard of Oz together.  
After they finished, Jordan bid them adieu, but Simon and Jace insisted on giving Alec a ride back home. Alec didn’t understand at first, but once in the car it was unbearable.  
As soon as they were in the car, Jace began drumming with his stelle and a dagger on the dashboard, as if they were drumsticks. Simon locked the doors. “Should we sing him the song?” Simon asked Jace.  
“What song?” Alec asked, beginning to get a very, very bad feeling.  
Jace glanced back at Alec. “Oh definitely.” He took a deep breath, and then suddenly they began to shout.  
“WEEEEEE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WARLOCK!” Jace yelled.  
“Wait what?” Alec asked.  
“THE WONDERFUL MAGNUS OF BANE!” Simon sang loudly.  
“Oh dear Lord,” Alec said.  
“BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAAAAUUUUUSE!” the two boys sang together.  
“By the angel, why me?” Alec groaned.  
“BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL **_ALEC_** HE DOES!” Jace and Simon finished the song and began laughing so hard tears came to their eyes.  
“Why?” Alec asked.  
“Because it’s hilarious,” Simon said.  
“You two are insufferable,” Alec said.  
“Yeah. Insufferably awesome!” Jace said then high fived Simon.  
“I hate you both,” Alec said, folding his arms.  
“We are totally singing this at your wedding,” Simon said.  
“No,” Alec said.  
“Yes,” Jace argued.  
“No,” Alec repeated.  
“And Izzy and Clary will sing it too,” Simon continued.  
“I’m leaving now,” Alec said, as they’d arrived back at his place.  
“Have fun in Casa de Malec!” Simon hollered back as the pair drove away, the sound of their laughter trailing behind them.   
Alec sighed in exasperation as he walked up the stairs to his and Magnus’s apartment and opened the door.  
“Honey, I’m home!” Alec sang while walking back to their shared bedroom. When he got there he found Magnus scurrying around in a daze, picking up random items then putting them in two large suitcases. One was just a plain black one, probably for Alec, and the other was a bright blue covered in glitter, obviously for Magnus. “So how’s packing going?” Alec asked.  
“Oh, well I guess. I’ve packed enough clothes to last about a month, along with some other necessities. You know, a few weapons for you, shampoo, toothpaste, combs, the works,” Magnus listed off while folding a Hawaiian shirt then setting it in his bag. Alec walked over to him and helped put in the last few items then zipped up the luggage.   
“So do you want to leave now? If so we should book a hotel first,” Magnus suggested.  
“I already took care of that. I was going to use it to convince you to go in case you refused the trip,” Alec told him.  
“I don’t know how to respond to that,” Magnus said.  
“You could open a portal to our French getaway.”  
Magnus laughed and began to create a portal to Monte Carlo. Alec smiled, it was the first time in practically a month that he had heard Magnus actually sound happy. He loved Magnus’s laugh, it sounded like what he imagined angels’ singing might sound like. Only better. Ironic, seeing as he was the son of a prince of hell. Not too long after, the portal was ready and the couple grabbed their bags and leapt through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the song that Jace and Simon sang was made before Maddy and I even came up with the idea to write a fanfiction. We just both agreed that it was too good not to share, and it seemed like something that Jace and Simon would sing to annoy Alec. I laughed so hard when we came up with it. Also, when Maddy first read the chapter after I wrote it, and saw that they were going to Monte Carlo, her first words were literally, "Because plot convenience!" Honestly, true. Anyways, chapter credits go to Anna Nightshade. See you next chapter!


	14. Why didn't you tell me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just... prepare yourself. enjoy.

Magnus was tired. He had been trying to sleep for the past four hours, but the people next door seemed determined to make as much noise as possible. The uncomfortable bed wasn’t exactly helping the situation either. Honestly, it was like Peru all over again. Eventually, he had had enough and decided to go next door and ask them to stop.  
“Magnus? Where are you going? Come back,” Alec whined as Magnus got out of the bed.  
“I’m just going next door to ask our lovely neighbors to quiet down,” Magnus responded.  
“Just don’t walk in on them without warning. They sound… busy. We don’t want you doing that to a couple. Again,” Alec said.  
Magnus nodded and walked out to the hallway. It was even louder out here, and he had to knock on the door for quite a while before someone heard and opened it.  
“Okay, it’s three am and you have been making noise nonstop for the last- Wait, Ragnor?!” Magnus cut his rant off in shock when he realized who the person standing in front of him was.  
“Shit,” Magnus heard someone out of his view say.  
“What the hell, man?! You were alive? This whole time, and you never told me? I was practically starving myself, not talking, not eating, not sleeping, not moving, not anything for weeks after I heard that you had died! And now to find out that you were alive that whole time, it hurts. I’m guessing Raphael is here too,” Magnus yelled, he could tell he was close to tears.  
Raphael’s voice from the back of the room called, “No, Raphael is dead.”  
Ragnor said something to Raphael, but Magnus couldn’t hear over his own beating heart. He was probably about to go into shock.  
“Uhm, hi Magnus. Long time no see, eh?” he said as he came up behind Ragnor.  
“LONG TIME NO SEE? _LONG TIME NO SEE?!_ You lied to me and my friends! I thought that you had died! How could you do that to me? I thought that you trusted me! I thought you were my friends…” Magnus trailed off. Tears were streaming down his face, falling on the floor. He felt someone come up behind him and hug his waist.  
“We didn’t tell you because we wanted to protect you. I love you, and I’d never do anything to hurt you,” it was Alec. Magnus turned around to face him.  
“It still hurts. Did you know? Who am I kidding, you had to have known. You were there, after all. I’m guessing Catherine was in on it to, seeing as she was the one to lie about killing you two. Anyone else I’m missing?” Magnus’s voice had quieted down, and now it was more of a whisper.  
“Lily, and Elliott. Catherine told them. Other than that, there isn’t anyone that I know of,” Raphael said, putting a hand on Magnus’s shoulder.  
“I still don’t understand. You say you did it to protect me, but from what?” Magnus asked.  
“Why don’t you come sit down, and we’ll explain everything,” Ragnor said, then led Magnus into the small hotel room. Magnus sat down on the bed and wiped his eyes.  
Raphael took a deep breath and began to explain, “So it all began quite a while ago, Camille was jealous of the support that I was getting and she was losing her hold of the clan. She threatened me, told me she’d tell the clave that I was killing innocent mundanes. She also said that she’d bribe a warlock to tell the clave that Ragnor was summoning greater demons. Only a day after the Cold Peace was passed, she did exactly that. I knew they’d believe her, everyone was on edge so they would never trust me even if I provided proof of innocence. The only thing I could think to do would be to fake both our deaths and run. But, I’d need help from someone actually in the clave. So, I turned to Alec.”  
“That’s the call I got the day you found out. It’s why I looked so scared,” Alec said.  
“Yeah. I was pretty shaken up. He and Ragnor met me in an alley in East Harlem to portal out of the country. Ragnor had glamoured some bodies from the local morgue to look like the two of us. Alec was supposed to cover for us and tell the clave he’d found us trying to escape but killed us before we got away, that was supposed to explain the portal. No one had to know, especially not you. Camille already hates you, and if you knew anything then she could use it against you if she found out,” Raphael continued.  
“But, that plan didn’t happen, obviously. Instead, Catherine saw everything. But, we were lucky. See, I realized that if I said that I killed Ragnor and Raphael that no one would believe me. I am friends with them after all. Also, I’m a terrible liar. But, she has a huge crush on Raphael. I knew that she’d never want to hurt him. Also, she’s a nobody in the Downworlder community. So, she covered for us all and told her lie. Even showed the bodies to Camille to gain her trust in order to act as a spy for us. It all worked out quite nicely,” Alec said.  
“According to Catherine, she told Lily and Elliott because she missed her friends and knew she could trust them. I don’t get that, friends are overrated. Loneliness is the only company I require,” Raphael finished.  
“And a hot warlock lover named Ragnor,” Alec teased.  
“Definitely,” Ragnor smiled and kissed Raphael’s glaring face. Magnus and Alec laughed at the pair, they were adorable.  
“Well, I’m glad I know now. And I’m touched that the only reason you hid this from me was to protect me. But, just know that I can take care of myself. I don’t like secrets, especially ones as big as whether or not someone is actually alive,” Magnus told them. Then he thought about something. “If I hadn’t somehow ended up in the same hotel as you, would you have ever even told me?”  
Everyone got really quiet all of a sudden. “Well?” Magnus asked, getting kind of angry.  
“Honestly? Probably not unless Camille died, which is highly unlikely,” Raphael admitted.  
“What?” Magnus asked, his tone deadly quiet.  
“It just wouldn’t be safe, for any of us. You could be hurt, I’d be constantly worrying, and Ragnor and Raphael would probably be as well,” Alec tried to calm Magnus, but it wasn’t working.  
“I DON’T CARE!” Magnus roared, now furious.  
“We were trying to protect you!”  
“And I can take care of myself!” Magnus retorted, feeling like no one was listening.  
“That doesn’t make me feel any less protective! I care about you, and I want to keep you safe!” Alec argued.  
“So Catherine and her buddies get to know, who are almost complete strangers, but not the boyfriend and best friend! Makes total sense,” Magnus pushed on, now yelling loud enough to hurt.  
“That was not part of the plan,” Ragnor said.  
“Stay out of this!” Alec and Magnus yelled.  
“Magnus, I love and care about you with every ounce of my being, and I don’t care if you hate me for the rest of eternity as long as you are okay. Why can’t you just understand that?” Alec said putting his hand on Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus shrugged it off.  
“I just wish I felt like you trusted me,” Magnus said.  
“I do trust you! It’s Camille I don’t trust,” Alec said desperately.  
“I know that, I just wish I felt it. I love you, and I understand. That doesn’t change the fact that it hurts,” Magnus finally said softly, not wanting to fight any more. He felt tears in his eyes, and dropped his head. When he heard soft sobs coming from across the bed, he looked up and saw Alec crying. He silently got up and walked over to him, pulling the shadowhunter into a loose embrace.  
“I’m so, so sorry,” Alec whispered into Magnus’s ear. He could feel the boy’s warm breath tickle his cheek.  
“I know, and I forgive you,” Magnus whispered back. He let go and they walked over to the loveseat against the wall to sit down. Both were still crying. It looked like Ragnor was comforting Raphael about something as well.  
Suddenly, the door burst open and Lily walked in grandly, but when she saw what everyone looked like she stopped so fast she almost fell over, her expression changing quick enough to give a person whiplash. “What the hell happened here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah... I don't know if we wrote Magnus's reaction well, so some feedback would be nice. You ever get that feeling when you make something, and are really proud of it, but then once you look back at it a couple of days or weeks later you absolutely hate it? Yeah, I'm feeling that right now. IDK, whatever. The story's already finished. Chapter credits go to Anna Nightshade. See you next chapter.


	15. Literally just filler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about forgetting to update. Life is just really hectic back here at home. Hope you still enjoy this chapter!

Elliott was still quite high when he re-entered the hotel. He walked up to Raphael, awkwardly wrapped his arms around the other vampire, and picked him up in a hug. “I missed you,” he cried out, as Raphael squirmed against Elliott’s grip but couldn’t seem break out. Eventually, he stopped trying, and hung there limply in Elliott’s arms, like some sort of a angry Latino rag doll. Lily was sitting on the far end of the sofa beside Ragnor, and Alec and Magnus sat on the love seat beside the fireplace. Everyone was exhausted from their ‘fight’ which Ragnor insisted on ignoring had happened.  
“So…” Lily finally said, eyeing the two couples. “Are we gonna talk about it?”  
“NO.” Ragnor, Alec and Magnus said at the same time. Raphael spoke about five seconds later, also saying no. They all glanced at him. Elliott was crushing him slightly. The awkward tension was so high that he could practically taste it. Lily took pity, walked over, and pried Elliott away, who fell asleep on the floor. Raphael brushed himself off, and went to sit on the armrest of the sofa where Ragnor was.  
“Well if we’re not going to talk about it, then what are we going to do?” Lily asked. She made a good point, Raphael had to at least give her that. Raphael sighed and shifted, trying to by himself time to think about how to answer. He looked at Magnus, who seemed pissed, Alec, who seemed apologetic out of his mind, and Ragnor, who seemed somewhere between. Raphael suddenly felt the nagging pull to leave for a while, let everyone cool off.  
“I don’t know, but anything except talk about it,” Raphael said, getting up.   
“That’s cool with me. I’m gonna call Catherine and tell her what all just happened, you guys can do whatever you want,” Alec said, then left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. it was really short. That's why I'm uploading three chapters today instead of two to compensate. Hope you still enjoyed it, though. Chapter credits go to Anna Nightshade, and I'll see you next chapter!
> 
> PS- Some feedback would be nice, by the way. We'd like to know if there's anything we can do to make the story better somehow. Good or bad, doesn't really matter. Constructive criticism and support are always wonderful. Thanks for reading!


	16. Catherine just can't catch a break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a longer one to make up for the last chapter. Enjoy!

Catherine was bored. Like, she made friends. Then they hate her for something she didn’t do. Then she makes up with them. Then they leave her and go to Monte Carlo. Honestly, she couldn’t catch a break. Why did she have to fall for Raphael? If she hadn’t done that, she could be having fun and going to a party right about now. Instead, she was holed up in her room with most of the downworlder community and the only good parts of the Shadowhunter community hating her. Lovely. She began to bang her head against the wall, muttering, “why” _thud_ “do” _thud_ “I” _thud_ “do” _thud_ “this” _thud_ “to” _thud_ “my” _thud_ “self?!” _big thud_. Just then her phone rang, making her jump.   
“What?” She asked, answering the phone after collecting herself.  
“Why hello to you too,” Alec greeted.  
“Sorry, just not in the best of moods today. What’s up?”  
“Magnus knows.” Catherine instantly understood and felt herself go into high alert.  
“What? How?”   
“We went to Monte Carlo. We got a hotel. Ragnor and Raphael apparently went to Monte Carlo. They also apparently got the same hotel, and the room right next to ours.”  
“How convenient. You’d almost think the author was planning it to move the plot forward.”  
“Wait what?”  
“What? I didn’t say anything.”  
“Nevermind. I just thought I’d let you know. I’m pretty sure that Lily and Elliott are going to come home soon, there was a huge fight and they look like they want to die. I don’t know. I’ll update you if something else happens.”  
“Sounds great chief. I’m lonely.”  
“Don’t call me that.”  
“Too late chief!”  
“I’m hanging up now.”  
“Okay chief!”  
“Bye.”  
“Bai chief!”  
Alec hung up, she could practically hear his eyes rolling through the phone. _Great, I can finally have actual friends that I see again. The voices were starting to get a little mean._ She thought to herself. Even as a human, she’d never had many friends, usually only one close one. She had never minded, but after a while it started to wear on her. After she’d been turned, she’d only been able to stay friends with her elder brother and her step-sister. She had been raised part-way in the downworld. Her step-father and his daughter were fae, and her mother was from a long line of mundanes with the sight. However, her step- father and sister had been killed during the Uprising, and her mortal mother was dead, she had died about five years before that. As for her brother, he was starting to lose his mind from old age, and frankly, was never the best person to talk to about Downworld politics.   
She knew very little about friendship, but she hoped that if this all ended… scratch that… _when_ this all ended, Magnus, Raphael, Alec, Lily, Ragnor and Elliott would continue to be her friends. There was a quiet knock on the door, and without being asked, Archer entered. “Lady Camille summons you, Ms. Foster,” he said, and heald up a hanger. “And she asks you where this, rather than your normal…” he looked her up and down disapprovingly, “attire. I shall wait outside to bring you to her when you are ready, miss.”   
Catherine took the hanger, and Archer excused himself. She eyed it bitterly. It was a small, loathsome thing, that cupped in all the most suggestive places and was black as night. _Urghh, why_ _do all vampires have to be such emos? It was so annoying._ Raphael owed her big time, she muttered to herself as she slipped the dress on. Gazing into the cracked mirror, she wondered if this was really worth it. Well, there was no going back now, unfortunately. She exited the room, and wordlessly followed Archer away. There were surprised gazes from the other night children, those who knew her knew she would never dress like that willingly, and probably were questioning whether or not Catherine had lost some sort of bet. Which as a matter of fact, she had. She had lost a bet with fate, who could have given her any variety of life, and had put her in this trash-hole of a place. Just her luck.   
“My mistress is very happy with you, miss.” Archer finally said, breaking the silence. “She was most delighted to discover you had disposed of Santiago. I myself am also glad. He was a most disgraceful child of the night. Conceiving deals with Nephilim, making peace with werewolves! And the company he kept! The daylighter, and those horrid warlocks. One, I hear, he was close with in the most immoral sort of way, if you get my drift. Walker always said he hated taking orders from that brat. He was hardly a quarter of our age, and nothing compared to our everlasting mistress. His reign was short and insignificant, same as his life. You have done a great service, and Lady Camille wishes to make quite sure you understand this, ms. Foster.”  
“Oh, does she now,” Catherine murmured to herself as Archer lead her to a small parlor on the top floor. She was trying her best to desist from ripping the subjugate’s throat out. “Let’s see what the glorious Lady Camille has to say.” Catherine was glad that Archer was completely oblivious to sarcasm, or he may have reported her for speaking ill of the leader of the New York Vampire Clan. Camille was a lot stricter, and had already punished many of those who had pledged allegiance to Raphael during her absence. Not Simon yet, for he made a point to not be there when Camille was, and not Elliott and Lily, as they were out of the country, but they could all feel the noose tightening, as the saying goes. Instead, he just smiled, clearly seeming to believe that Catherine shared his unyielding devotion and loyalty, and opened the doors to the parlor.  
“Ahh, my most trusted and esteemed, Ms. Catherine Foster!” Camille announced as Catherine entered the room. There were probably a dozen vampires, foreigners, by the smell, in the parlor. Camille was in the center of the group, her eyes glittering. She motioned for Catherine to come closer. She felt as if she was in free fall into a bottomless pit, her stomach riding up into her mouth, and her limbs coursing with adrenaline. She braced herself for impact, and walked delicately over toward Camille. Camille put an arm around Catherine’s shoulders.   
_Oh God, oh dear God. She’s touching me. Is this a good thing? Oh dear, abort mission, abort abort!_ Her brain screamed, as she forced a smile. “You summoned me, my lady?” she asked. She silently cursed that her voice had sounded so afraid. Luckily, just as in Edgar Allan Poe’s "The Tell-Tale Heart", it was, for the most part, all in her head. If Camille or the other night children did notice, they didn’t let on.  
“Why yes! I was just telling my associates what you have done for us! Getting rid of that traitor, Raphael Santiago. Imagine if the Nephilim had found out _he_ was killing Mundanes! You have done us a great service.”  
A Italian vampire who was leaning against the grand piano spoke with an nearly impossible to understand accent. “And what of the warlock she killed? Ragnor Fell? He was respectable, among us.” Camille glared at him, and threw up a dismissive hand.  
“You mustn't fret, Ferdinand. He was summoning greater demons in protest to the Cold Peace. Mundanes were dying. And we can’t allow that, now can we?” All the vampires laughed. They were all old. They remembered the days before the accords. They had no remorse. A new wave of fear rushed over Catherine. Camille stopped laughing. “Yes, well, Ragnor fell would bring demise to the down world. It was for the best.” Though several of the vampire’s didn’t seem to agree, they said nothing. Camille was not a good enemy to have, Raphael was proof of this.  
“My dear,” Camille said, taking a drink of blood from a wine glass. “Would you be so kind as to explain your endeavor again for your guests? I’m sure they would love to hear of Santiago’s demise.”  
Catherine almost choked. She had already explained in great detail how she had killed Raphael Santiago to a far too excited Camille. What if she mixed up details? Oh no. SHe could see the bottom of the pit fast approaching.  
“Oh, you don’t want to hear that again, my lady. I’d hate to bore you.”  
Camille smiled, her fangs glistening. “Oh, you could never bore me with that. Please, tell us.”  
There was clearly no getting out of it now. “I was out walking to Taki’s to meet up with Elliott and Lily, when I passed an alleyway. There were a few people, two of which were Raphael and Ragnor, and a handful of dead or dying mundanes. They were discussing a plan to attack the nephilim. Raphael was going to say that the demons had killed to mundanes that he himself had slaughtered. I killed Ragnor on the spot, his back was turned. I took to chase Raphael through central park, and-”  
Camille shook her head. “The first time you said through the docks.”  
Catherine swallowed. “I chased him for quite a long time, mistress, we went all over the city.”  
A french vampire spoke, brushing back his curly brown hair. “I do not understand your tale. Did Raphael not try to seek sanctuary with any other downworlders when you sought to kill him?”  
Catherine stuttered. “It was early morning, sir, many of his friends were unavailable.”  
“Early morning? But you brought the bodies to me at midnight.” Camille said, her brow arched with distrust.  
“I.. I was wounded. I brought the bodies the following night.”  
A czech vampire shook his head. “Lady Camille informed us you were covered in blood when you arrived.”  
Catherine didn’t know what to say. That pit she felt as if she was falling into was closing in along the floor and walls, and she knew peril was imminent. “Well, I…”  
Camille’s eyes sparked with anger. She squeezed Catherine’s shoulders with her strong, yet dainty-looking hands. “Catherine, I’m giving you a chance right now to avoid severe punishment. What happened to Raphael Santiago?”  
Catherine spat in her face. The other night children gasped. “Raphael Santiago is dead. His death has been one of the worst things I’ve ever participated in, but you overstep to assume that me killing him swears loyalty to you. If I’m being honest, it would have been a lot easier for us to just shove you out a window at noon and be done with the matter. But Raphael, though he loathes you, respects his kind. He sacrificed his life for peace in the downworld. It’s bold of you to assume I won’t rip your throat out now, just as I did his!”   
None of this speech was actually fictional. Raphael Santiago’s heart had stopped beating, so by medical definition, he was dead. Of course, she had neglected to mention that this was simply for the sake of him being a vampire. And Raphael had sacrificed a part of his life, the free part, and gone into hiding in a city he thoroughly despises. Camille seemed more than a little angry, but Catherine couldn’t tell if she was satisfied with the answer. She watched as Camille wiped the spit from her face. Catherine was not the sharpest crayon in the box, but even for her, her next actions were unbelievably stupid. Catherine jumped forward, her hand clasping around the older vampire’s throat, Camille giving out a surprised shriek as she began to wrestle Catherine over Camille’s throat’s safety. The other vampires stood their for a moment, eyeing their host with unease. Catherine briefly wondered if they could see up her dress from her angle on the floor. Then she decided, _OH_ _WAIT. I DON’T FUCKING CARE,_ and got the upper hand.   
Camille screamed for Walker and Archer, and Catherine slapped a hand over the other woman’s mouth. “Oh shut up,” she groaned as she used her far heavier body weight against Camille. Hey, sometimes, being pretty and slim just didn’t work with a lifestyle where people are always trying to kill you. Just then, the subjugates and a few of Camille’s loyal followers burst in, ran over and pried Catherine off.  
Camille was pulled to her feet by Walker. She was rubbing her throat, where several deep gashes had begun to profusely bleed, in the shapes of Catherine’s mediocrely well manicured fingernails. _Wow,_ Catherine thought. _I very nearly ripped her throat out. I guess now I know for next time._  
Camille walked over to the group that was holding back Catherine. “Della my dear, would you be able to fetch Catherine’s cell phone from her belongings?” A vampire who looked as though she was in some sort of unfamiliar universe nodded slowly at Camille, her eyebrow twitching as she looked around the room. Slowly, she wandered out. Camille looked to the rest of the night children. “Now, gag her and tie her to a chair… this one here. I have a telephone call to make.”  
You know that pit Catherine felt as though she was falling into? SPLAT! She had hit the bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catherine seriously can't catch a break. Chapter credits go to the gorgeous Maddy Riveroot. She is an absolutely amazing author, might I just say. She can never know I said this however, as I have a reputation of being absolutely soulless and devoid of any emotion to uphold. Anyways, hope you enjoyed and I will see you next chapter!


	17. Camille just made a very grave mistake. (get it? grave? he he. he.... okay I'll go now.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I don't know what this chapter is, but I hope that you still enjoy it. So, as always, enjoy the chapter!

“I know what you did,”  
Those words echoed in Magnus’s ears like an ax looming over his head, threatening to fall at any moment. “What do you want?” he growled out between his teeth. Camille had called through Catherine Foster’s phone. Clearly, Camille understood that Magnus would never pick up one of Camille’s phone calls consentingly.  
“Why my dear, sweet Magnus. It’s quite simple, really. I want the same thing I’ve always wanted. Power. And while the vampire and his little green _friend_ are still alive, I can’t have that. Not really. So, I’ll make you a deal. I currently am holding your friend Catherine here hostage. If you bring me Raphael and Ragnor within 48 hours, then the girl lives. If you don’t, she dies. And to add a little more of a personal stake in things, I will also hunt you down, take everything you love out of your life, and ruin your reputation, along with your little shadowhunter’s. So, what’ll It be? Your friends, or your love? The clock is ticking, Magnus,” Magnus could literally feel Camille smiling evilly through the phone. Why would she do this? Raphael and Ragnor were no longer a threat to her. They were believed dead by practically the whole of both the shadowhunter and downworlder communities!  
“I don’t know. Give me an hour to decide. I will call you then. Just know, no matter what I decide, I will make sure that your life becomes the most unbearable thing in existence. You _will_ regret this,” Magnus promised, his teeth clenched so hard that his voice came out as a hiss. He could feel his palm beginning to bleed from his nails digging into them. How _dare_ she threaten Alec? Threaten his everything? She had no right, no matter her status in Downworld. _No one_ spoke of his boyfriend like that. She **would** pay.  
“Hey Magnus, do you want anything from room service? I was going to order some pizza,” Alec asked, walking into the bathroom. Magnus had gone in there to take the call. “Magnus? Are you okay? You look angry enough to fight a bear and win. The bear would not maul you, you would maul the bear.”  
Magnus walked over to him, his expression serious. “We need to talk.”  
Alec looked Magnus up and down. “By the Angel, Magnus! Your hands are bleeding! What in Raziel’s name happened?!” His eyes had gone wide, looking terrified enough to rival horror movie stars.  
“I’m fine, but seriously we need to talk. This is about Ragnor and Raphael. That was Camille on the phone.” Magnus waved his hand his cuts healed, but Alec still looked worried, and for good reason.  
“Camille?” he repeated. Magnus nodded. “Then this involves more than just us. Let’s head back to the rest of the group. We need a plan.” They left the room and headed back to everyone else. Alec cleared his throat to get their attention, motioning for Magnus to tell everyone what Camille had said. Throughout the whole explanation, the only sounds that he could hear was his own voice and the occasional appalled gasp of shock from Lily. when he was done, everyone sat in stunned silence. The first person to speak was Raphael.  
“Guys I’m sorry,” Raphael began.  
Ragnor interrupted him, “Raphael, no. I’ve already told you, there’s nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault, it’s that b-with-an-itch Camille!”  
“Yes it is! It’s all my fault. If it weren’t for me, none of this would have happened. I’ll talk to her. I’ll turn myself in, but I won’t let her have you. I won’t let you die.”  
“But if you died, I’d have nothing left to live for,” Ragnor said softly. Raphael gave a slight gasp, and Ragnor continued. “I love you, Raphael. I can’t lose you.” Raphael reached out and hugged Ragnor.  
Magnus loudly clapped his hands together. “Well that decides it then. You two are staying here, the four of us are headed to New York to show Camille exactly what happens when you mess with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.”  
“Wait what?” Lily asked.  
“You heard him. We’re going to New York to beat Camille up until she’s nothing more than a blood stain on the pavement,” Alec said this so seriously and dead pan that it was kind of scary. But also kind of hot. Magnus wasn’t sure which was better in this scenario.  
“You’re seriously going to take _Elliott_ of all people with you into battle?” Lily asked incredulously. She did have a fair point. The always-drunken bloodsucker was currently trying to chase his nose. Not exactly what you’d call ‘war material’.  
“Okay fine, not him. And he also needs a baby sitter, so I guess you aren’t fighting Camille either since he could let the secret get out. But, you are still coming to New York as a last line of defense and backup. Deal?” Magnus decided, thinking it was a fair idea.  
“Sounds reasonable. Well, I'mma go pack and we can get out of this hell hole.” Lily said.  
“Aren’t we just going straight back to another one?” Alec commented.  
“True. But I like that one better. It’s more homey. Like, here it’s more ‘I hate everything and nothing can survive here’ whereas New York is sort of a ‘yeah it sucks and I want to die, but whatever I’m here now’ kind of hell. You know?” Lily said.  
“It concerns me that I understood that so perfectly,” Magnus said in a wary voice.  
“Same,” Alec said.  
“Also, no need to go. I can just summon all of your stuff here, open a portal, and we’ll be on our way,” Magnus said, then snapped his fingers and all of the luggage appeared at their feet.  
“Okay, wait just a second. So you all are going and risking your lives for us, and we’re supposed to just wait here doing nothing?” Raphael asked.  
“Yeah , we can fight too.” Ragnor said.”  
“Sorry, we can’t risk Camille getting to you two,” Alec said with a shrug.  
“I’ve already lost you once, I won’t go through that again,” Magnus told them.  
Raphael sighed in defeat. “Fine. Just stay safe.” With that, Magnus opened a portal and the team of four leapt through to the domain of pizza rats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if Simon was the pizza rat all along? Just saying, he turned into a rat. He lives in New York. And he loves pizza. It all fits. Anyways, chapter credits go to Anna Nightshade. See you next chapter!


	18. why go on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTEMPTED SUICIDE WARNING! bring tissues. this is some sobbing-level shit. Still, enjoy the chapter if that's even possible with how depressing it is.

“So are we going or not?” Ragnor asked his boyfriend.  
“Well yeah, duh,” Raphael responded. After all, those idiots wouldn’t last a minute against the vampires without them.  
“Great! You pack, I’ll prepare a portal,” Ragnor said.  
“Just one thing, I thought you didn’t want me to go?” Raphael asked, confused.  
“Correction: I didn’t want you to go and hand yourself over. I said nothing about going to fight,” Ragnor explained.  
“Fair,” Raphael said while picking up random items of clothing and throwing them into their bags. Once he and Ragnor were done, together they stepped through the portal, ready to face whatever awaited them on the other side. When they landed in front of the Hotel Dumort, Raphael suddenly felt as if eyes were watching him. Probably just paranoia.  
“So what now?” He asked.  
“Now, we find Camille and the others. After that, we bury Camille’s body where it will never be found again,” Ragnor said.  
Raphael gave him an impressed look. “Dark, but effective. I’m impressed, warlock. Let’s go,” Raphael said.  
“Whatever you say, vampire.” Ragnor grinned.  
Together, they entered the dark hotel and searched the floors for what seemed like hours. The place seemed deserted, which was odd. Finally, they reached what Raphael remembered as Camille’s chambers, which she used when meeting with other downworlders. Often naked. Raphael tried to forget the thought, but some pictures are forever burned into your skull, especially when it involves your boss addressing uncomfortable werewolves and unimpressed fairies. (Hey, she isn’t for all markets) Perhaps he’d ask Magnus to remove those memories later. Through the door, he could hear her talking to someone.  
“She’s in there, let’s go!” Raphael whispered to Ragnor. Ragnor nodded, then Raphael kicked in the door with a loud bang. Upon entering, he saw Alec with his bow pointed at Camille, Magnus with his hands sparking with blue electricity, staring down Archer and Walker, and Catherine sitting tied to a chair, gagged, behind Camille.  
“Why if it isn’t my favorite traitor and his warlock pet. How kind of you to joins us,” Camille said too sweetly.  
“What in Raziel’s name are you two doing here? You were supposed to stay at the hotel!” Alec said angrily, never taking his eyes off Camille. Just then, Archer Launched himself at Ragnor. Magnus fired his magic at the subjugate, but Archer lashed out at him and caused him to miss. Alec fired at Archer, killing him before he could hurt Magnus.  
“Ragnor!” Raphael cried out, reaching for his everything, but it was too late. Ragnor had been caught off guard and unable to defend himself, and Walker had knocked the warlock to the ground. Ragnor’s head was bleeding, and he wasn’t moving. Alec fired another arrow, killing the second subjugate. Raphael fell, trying to wake Ragnor up, but it was no use.  
Raphael got up and looked at Camille. He must have been glaring at her with all the hate of the fiery pits of hell, because for a split second she actually looked genuinely scared. “You _monster_. He has done _nothing_ to you. How could you? You will regret this more than you know. I will make you feel the pain that I now feel. _I. Will. Avenge. Him._ ” He growled out the last words. Camille just smiled. _That fucking bitch. Oh, how I will enjoy her death._  
“Raphael, go. You have no weapons and she is stronger than you. You have to leave, now,” Magnus said, grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him out of the room.  
“No! She has to pay! She must die for what she’s done!” Raphael screamed, feeling his rage towards the other vampire rising beyond comprehension.  
“And she will. But you can’t do it, or she _will_ kill you. I’m sorry Raphael, I really am, but your emotions are getting the best of you,” Magnus said, creating a magical barrier sealing him off from re-entering the room.  
“No! Let me in! You can't do this!”  
“Again, I’m sorry. But I have to,” Magnus walked away to continue the fight with Camille.  
Raphael began to walk blindly through the hotel, no longer caring where he ended up. At some point he ended up on the roof. The roof itself was shaded, but the ground below was in direct sunlight.  
What if he just ended it all? Jumped off, finally free of all the pain and suffering. He didn’t have anything left to live for, after all. Magnus might miss him for a little while, but Alec could take care of him. Soon, no one would even remember he'd ever existed. Ragnor had been his whole world, and now he was gone. Dead, because of Camille. No-because of _him_. It was all Raphael's fault. Camille may have been the knife, but he had been the one who wielded it. And now, he couldn’t even avenge him by killing that evil bitch. But he still could avenge Ragnor, just in another way. He could jump. Just one single step was all it would take. He’d be dead, and no one else would have to die because of him. No one else’s pain or blood would be on his hands. Raphael had reached his breaking point, and he could bear no more guilt. No more loss or suffering. Dios, he was being so selfish. Ragnor wouldn’t want this for him. But did that even matter anymore? Ragnor was dead because of him. He had nothing left in this world. Nothing left that he loved. _Nothing left that loved him._ What was the point of living? Of carrying on an a world where he was nothing more than a burden on others and did nothing but cause them pain? So what other choice did he have? What other option but to end this cycle of misery? What other alternative than to take the leap? He had gone on for too long. He should have died alongside his friends and brother at the hands of Louis Karnstein in that suffocatingly hot summer of 1953.  
So Raphael made his decision. He put one foot on the ledge, then the other. He spread his arms, and let out a breath he didn’t need. Just the thought, the pain of knowing how horridly monstrous his existence was, burned in his unbeating heart. “I’m sorry.” He leaned forward, sticking his hand out and allowing his fingers to grave the sunlight, leaning farther, and farther, until-  
“Raphael, stop!” He felt someone grab his arm and pull him back. “Don’t do this,” the person whispered.  
_“Ragnor?”_ Raphael gasped in disbelief.  
“Don’t leave me. Stay. Stay with me and live. I love you. Please. I can’t live without you. I- I just- I just can’t, okay? So I’m begging you, don’t go. Don't leave me alone.”  
Raphael let out a shaking, broken breath; blood stained tears rolling down his cheeks and falling onto the ground. “I can’t live without you either,” he confessed quietly.  
Ragnor pulled him off the ledge and into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around Raphael’s waist. Raphael put his hands on Ragnor’s neck. “I love you,” Raphael whispered, his eyes filling with more tears that dripped down his cheeks.  
“So you’ll stay?” Ragnor asked needlessly.  
“ _Forever,_ ” Raphael told him. Ragnor gave a slight laugh, and kissed him softly. His lips tasted like salt, probably from tears. Raphael wished this moment would never end, but he knew that could never happen. So to make up for that, he kissed Ragnor back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I-I just... why do I write this kind of stuff? What does that say about me? What does it say that Raphael's monologue came so easily, and that a lot of those things were things I'd thought before myself? I don't know. I am sobbing. Credits for this chapter go to the depressing Anna Nightshade. Also, when I showed this chapter to Maddy, she looked at me and said, "You have no soul. You made me cry in the middle of science class. You have hurt me. Why do you write this stuff?" and I was all like, "Girl, you had the idea of Raphael standing on the edge of a roof and Ragnor finding him, and the dream sequence." and she told me, "Yeah, but I didn't plan on actually writing it!" so I just looked at her all like, "Really?" Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, if you even can with something this depressing. I'll see you next chapter!


	19. Anything for the ones you love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, another toughie. Man, it's almost like I wanted to write something filled with pain. Oh, wait... I did. Don't worry, it's not that bed. Still, trigger warning for major character death. Enjoy!

Magnus and Alec had arrived at the hotel after dropping off Lily and Elliott at Lily’s place almost half an hour ago, and they still hadn’t found Camille. It was becoming exhausting. Like honestly, would it be so hard to install an elevator at the very least? Also, the place was unnervingly empty, and it felt as if it had been deserted for months. However, Magnus knew for a fact that it was not abandoned. On the contrary, not even two weeks ago he and Alec had attended a party here. As Magnus and Alec trudged through what felt like the millionth dark and dusty hallway (they _had_ to hire a maid. Magnus liked a messy lair, but honestly this was just sloppy), Alec called Magnus over to him. He was standing by a door, his ear pressed against it.  
“I can hear voices, we go in in 3… 2… Now!” Alec said, then together they kicked it in. Upon entering, Mangus saw two things that stood out to him. One, Camille and her minions Archer and Walker planning what to do with Catherine’s body. And two, Catherine gagged and tied to a chair silently crying blood stained tears. Camille turned to see what had made the loud bang. “Oh! What a wonderful surprise! To tell you the truth Magnus, I didn’t expect you to come. Now, where are Ragnor and Raphael?”  
“We aren’t here to make a trade. We are here to prove to you that you don’t mess with my friends,” Magnus told her.  
“And how exactly darling would you do that?” Camille asked.  
“We are going to kill you. And never call Magnus darling.” Alec told her, drawing his bowstring back and aiming for her head. Walker and Archer moved to fight him, but Camille held up her hand and pointed at Magnus, clearly telling them to defend her from the warlock. Evil and narrow minded though she may be, she knew not to underestimate him. If only she didn’t underestimate Alec. Magnus’s hands began to spark.  
_Bang!_ Magnus turned around to see what on earth could have created the noise. “Why if it isn’t my favorite traitor and his warlock pet. How kind of you to joins us,” Camille said. Ragnor and Raphael had kicked the door off of its hinges like the F.B.I. and stormed into the room.  
“What in Raziel’s name are you two doing here? You were supposed to stay at the hotel!” Alec said angrily, never taking his eyes off Camille. Just then, Archer launched himself at Ragnor. Magnus fired his magic at the subjugate, but Archer lashed out at him first, causing him to miss. Alec fired at Archer, killing him before he could hurt Magnus.  
“Ragnor!” Raphael cried out, reaching for the green skinned warlock. But it was too late. Ragnor had been caught off guard and was unable to defend himself, and Walker had knocked the warlock to the ground. His head was bleeding, and he wasn’t moving. Alec fired another arrow, killing the second subjugate. Raphael fell to the ground, trying to wake Ragnor up, but it was no use.  
Raphael got up and looked at Camille. He must have been glaring at her with all the hate of the fiery pits of hell, because for a split second she actually looked genuinely scared. “You _monster_. He has done _nothing_ to you. How could you? You will regret this more than you know. I will make you feel the pain that I now feel. _I. Will. Avenge. Him._ ” Raphael was stepping dangerously close to Camille, and Magnus decided that enough was enough.  
“Raphael, go. You have no weapons and she is stronger than you. You have to leave, now,” Magnus said, grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him out of the room. He knew that Raphael would hate him for this, but he had to protect him.  
“No! She has to pay! She must die for what she’s done!” Raphael screamed in a blind rage.  
“And she will. But you can’t do it, or she _will_ kill you. I’m sorry, I really am, but your emotions are getting the best of you,” Magnus said, creating a magical barrier sealing him off from re-entering the room, just in case.  
“No! Let me in! You can do this!” Raphael yelled, banging on the barrier, his voice muffled by the magic.  
“Again, I’m sorry. But I have to,” Magnus walked away to continue the fight with Camille. “Let’s do this.”  
Magnus flicked his hand and released Catherine from her bonds, but Camille wasn’t paying attention to him. Her eyes were on Alec, who still had his bow aimed at her head. “Don’t make another move,” he growled at her.  
Nonetheless, she launched herself at him. “Alec!” Magnus yelled. It felt like the world went into slow motion. Right before Camille reached Alec, Catherine leaped in front of him. Camille’s eyes went wide, her long nails digging into Catherine’s chest where her heart would be.  
“What have you done?” Camille hissed in a shocked voice.  
“I saved my friend. And I distracted you,” Catherine whispered, barely getting the words out. Camille let Catherine’s dying body fall to the floor.  
“Now!” Magnus yelled, and Alec jumped away from Camille. Magnus raised his hands, and fired all of his magic in one blast at Camille. Camille’s body disintegrated on the spot, leaving nothing behind but a black scorch mark on the faded red carpet. Magnus collapsed into Alec’s waiting arms, drained of all his energy.  
“Magnus? Magnus, I know you’re tired but you have to help me heal Cathy and Rag,” Alec shook Magnus awake.  
“Alexander, I can’t I used all of my magic up when I killed Camille. I can’t do it, I’m sorry,” Magnus told the shadowhunter boy.  
“So take my energy. I know you don’t like to, but i’m not letting my friends die tonight.”  
“Alexander, no.”  
“Magnus, yes.”  
Magnus sighed. He knew he wouldn’t win this fight, Alec could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be. “Fine.” Alec smiled, and helped Magnus over to Ragnor. Magnus grabbed his boyfriend’s hand tightly, and began the process of healing to other warlock.  
Ragnor woke up violently, jerking up off the ground with a sharp gasp. “Where’s Raphael?” Magnus shook his head sadly, wishing he knew the answer.  
“I don’t know. Go. Find Raphael. Camille is dead, but he was pretty shaken up,” He told his oldest friend. Ragnor shakily got up with Alec’s help, rushing into the hall and out of sight.  
Magnus scrambled over to Catherine. She looked even more dead than normal. “Alec, I don’t know if I can save her. I can give her blood, and I can cast a spell, but I can’t preserve her forever. This wound is too deep, and it pierced her heart. It’s a miracle she’s survived this long.”  
Alec shook his head and squeezed Magnus’s hand even tighter. “Just do whatever it takes.” Magnus nodded, and began the spell. Once he finished, he used a sharp piece of wood to cut his palm and drip the blood into Catherine’s mouth. She woke up, coughing.  
“Cathy? Cathy can you hear me? Stay with me, don’t give in okay?” Alec moved Cathy into his lap. Once she stopped coughing, Alec grabbed Magnus’s hand again so he could continue to sustain the spell keeping the vampire alive. Or undead, at least. Just until Ragnor and Raphael returned to say goodbye. They deserved at least that, after everything.  
Just then, the pair burst into the room. The barrier had disappeared when Magnus used up the last of his power killing Camille. They both looked terrible. Raphael rushed over to Catherine’s fading, bloodsoaked body. He spoke, his voice raspy and sounding like he’d been crying for weeks. “Cathy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see it coming? Sure, I warned you. But did you think it'd be Catherine? When I had the idea and told Maddy, she got so excited. Then I told my other friend who I named the character after, and she was like, "okay." Like dude, I just murdered you in my story. Show a little emotion for a change. Chapter credits go to the murderous Anna Nightshade. Anyways, hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next chapter!


	20. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the roof scene with Raphael and Ragnor, but from Ragnor's perspective. I felt particularly evil that day, so I thought I'd make you experience it twice. Enjoy!

Ragnor felt dead. He knew he wasn’t, but he felt like he was. He was in a dream, though. He could see Raphael. Magnus was there, too. Camille was telling Raphael that he had to either die or kill Magnus.  
“I won’t kill my last friend. Besides, you’ve already killed my only reason for living. What do I have left in this world anyways?” Raphael told her, then stabbed himself in the heart. He might as well have stabbed Ragnor’s heart, because that’s what it felt like when he saw Raphael’s body fall lifeless to the ground.  
Ragnor woke up. Magnus was standing over him, a grave look in his eyes. “Where’s Raphael?” He asked immediately.  
Magnus shook his head. “I don’t know. Go. Find Raphael. Camille is dead, but he was pretty shaken up.” Ragnor wasted no time asking questions, and ran out of the room like his life depended on it. If there was even a chance that Raphael was in danger, then Ragnor was going to do everything in his power to help his boyfriend. He searched for what felt like hours, but in reality it was probably just fifteen minutes. Finally, he went up to the roof.  
And what he saw made him cry.  
Raphael was climbing onto the ledge, red stained tears rolling down his pale cheeks. He spread his arms. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking, and began to lean forward. It felt like time froze. A million thoughts ran through Ragnor’s mind in less than a single moment. _Why would he do this? What all led to him making this decision? When did things get so bad that he’d feel the need_ _to die just to escape?_ But most of all, _I_ won’t _let you die._ Ragnor’s body went on autopilot, rushing forward to grab Raphael’s arm and save the love of his life from himself.  
“Raphael, stop!” Ragnor cried desperately. “Don’t do this.”  
“Ragnor? You’re alive?” Raphael’s voice came out broken and raspy, like he’d been crying for a long time. Ragnor felt his heart shatter into a million tiny little pieces. Raphael had thought he was dead? Was that why he was doing this? Everything was Ragnor’s fault.  
“Don’t leave me. Stay. Stay with me and live. I love you. Please, I can’t live without you! I- I just- I just can’t, okay? So I’m begging you, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.” Ragnor was rambling. He didn’t know what to say, so he just began to pour out his whole heart and soul. When he stopped, Raphael let out a small broken breath, pink tears continuing to fall onto the ground.  
“I can’t live without you either,” He admitted. Ragnor felt a tiny piece of hope worm its way back into his heart, flickering against all odds and fighting back the dark despair. Ragnor pulled Raphael down from the ledge and wrapped him in a tight hug with his arms around the vampire boy’s waist, feeling like if he let go that he would die. Raphael wrapped his own hands around the warlock’s neck. “I love you,” he whispered.  
“So you’ll stay?” Ragnor asked, not yet truly believing that Raphael was actually okay.  
Raphael pulled back. “Forever,” he said. When Ragnor heard him say that single word, he felt so happy he laughed. Raphael leaned back in and kissed Ragnor, and Ragnor kissed him back.  
*******  
Raphael’s POV  
When Raphael re-entered the building, still clasped in his boyfriend’s arms, he nearly fainted. Not something he would have usually done, mind you, but it had been a stressful day. He tore away from Ragnor and raced to Catherine, who was on the floor. Magnus was trying his best, but he was clearly exhausted, and it was clear that even with Alec’s help, little could be done. He scooped her up in his arms, cradling her to his chest. “Cathy? Cathy, we did it. We won!” He whispered, his voice cracking. “We won. Please don’t leave the party now, it’s only just begun.”  
Catherine brushed Raphael’s cheek with her blood soaked hand. Raphael clasped it, kissing her little fingers. “Cathy, please. Don’t-”  
Catherine smiled softly, blood dripping over her pale lips. “Raphael Santiago, thank you.” Her blood was staining his shirt; even with Magnus’s magic, she was bleeding profusely.  
“What do you mean?” He asked, holding her tighter, as if he felt that he could hold her to this world, to this life.  
“Thank you for taking care of me when I was a fledgling. Thank you for treating our people the way they should be. I hope that you and Ragnor are happy together.”  
Raphael felt like an ice pick was being slammed into his chest. “Cathy, you don’t need to thank me yet. You’ll be around for centuries. You’ll see what happens with the two of us.”  
Cathy shook her head. “I don’t think I will.”  
Raphael choked, his throat constricting. “I don’t understand.”  
Cathy smiled, nestling her head into his chest and closing her eyes. “I didn’t think you would. But that’s okay.”  
“Catherine! Don’t close your eyes!” Raphael begged, his own eyes becoming wetter. “I love you. You’re like a little sister to me. You mustn't- you can’t die before me!”  
Catherine sighed one last breath. “I love you too, Raphael. Now please, do something for me.”  
“Anything,” the boy insisted, his head spinning, trying to think of a way to save her.  
Their eyes met, and every thought ceased. She smiled, her fangs shiny with her own blood. “Go be happy.” And she was gone. Raphael pressed his head to hers, sobbing quietly for his lost friend… his fallen family. His body began to shake. Ragnor sat down beside him, giving him a hug.  
“It’s okay,” he murmured, laying a hand on his boyfriend’s back.  
“No,” Raphael shook his head and whispered, his voice quavering, “It’s not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to really say this time... I hope you enjoyed it though! Credits for the first part go to Anna, and for the second part they go to the fabulous Maddy. See you next chapter! 
> 
> PS- I'mma post three chapters today, because it's the last three and I don't want to only post one tomorrow. So yeah, expect that.


	21. Proposals are so hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! FLUFF INCOMING! (after a really sad scene though of course. Honestly, you didn't think I'd let you off that easily, did you?)

“Raphael, we have to go. I don’t want to risk anyone showing up during the day; none of us are in the proper conditions to fight,” Alec told the vampire boy, who was stubbornly refusing to move.   
“I want to bring her with us,” Raphael said, his voice more serious than Alec had ever heard it. Which was really saying something. He was one of the most stone faced, serious people that Alec had ever encountered, besides his own father, and the tone of his voice was so cold, so broken, that it gave Alec the impression that if Vampires did have souls, Raphael’s had just iced over.  
“What?” Magnus asked, clearly just as confused as Alec was.  
“I want to bring Catherine’s body with us. Give her a proper funeral, and burial,” Raphael repeated.  
Ragnor, still sitting next to his boyfriend, nodded. “Okay. But we really do have to leave right now. The sun is going to rise soon, meaning more vampires will probably be arriving soon, and I’d prefer not to mourn two people in one day.” He helped Raphael up, who had finally agreed to leave but still refused to let anyone else carry Catherine’s corpse.   
As Ragnor prepared a portal back to Magnus and Alec’s loft, Alec pulled Magnus to the side of the musty room.  
“Hey. Are you doing okay? You seem to be struggling. Not just energy wise, you look like you’re trying not to have a mental breakdown. Do you need anything?” Alec asked, concern written all over his face.  
“What? No, I’m fine. Just tired and nervous, that’s all. I’m worried about Raphael. That kid… he’s smart, but makes such rash decisions out of passion. He always means well, though. But you, my dear, have nothing to worry about. I will be okay. We will be okay,” Magnus responded, waving Alec’s question off. Alec could tell that he was hiding something, his lie was obvious. But before Alec could question him any further, the portal was ready and Ragnor was calling them over.  
“Come on love birds!” Ragnor waved the pair over.  
“Well, Alexander, sleep calls. Let’s hope that our friends don’t kill us too painfully tomorrow for having fun without them,” Magnus said, pulling him by the hand to go through the portal back to their apartment. The second they arrived, Magnus collapsed on the bed, not even bothering to take off his makeup.   
“Well, guess everything will have to wait until tomorrow,” Alec muttered to himself before falling asleep himself.  
***The next day***  
Magnus was freaking out. Like, legitimately having a panic attack. Everything was going wrong. The dinner reservations had gotten messed up and he’d had to cancel, then a demon attack in Central Park had Alec running from Magnus’s last minute idea for a nice meal on the balcony, and then it rained and the idea of a picnic in the park under the stars had just disappeared like Peter Parker in Infinity War, and now it was nearly 10 p.m. and he had no idea what to do for his proposal to Alec. Why could nothing in his life go right, just once? It was like the universe had some sort of malevolent vendetta against him. And now Alec had just called saying that he’d be home in thirty minutes and Magnus had absolutely no clue what to do. Last night, Alec had known something was up. Magnus knew why, but he couldn’t tell Alec. When Camille had been about to kill Alec, right before Catherine intervened, Magnus had felt his world crumbling around him like a pile of dirt in an earthquake. Helpless to do anything, and yet terrifyingly, acutely aware of the imminent doom. It made him realize just how real the idea of not having Alec forever was. And that terrified Magnus more than words could convey. The thought of it had plagued Magnus for the rest of the night and most of the morning. But that only gave him more conviction to propose to Alec as soon as possible. A bit impulsive, he had to admit, but he wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything, and he knew he’d never regret it. And if he ever said he did, then he must be possessed and should be exorcised as soon as possible. But none of that would help him figure out how to propose. It had to be perfect, more than perfect, because Alec was more than perfect. Even if the nephilim boy never believed Magnus when he told him that. It had to be special, because Alec was so unique, which Magnus loved. It had to be beautiful, because Alec was the most absolutely gorgeous, angelic, and exquisitely delicate and yet strong person Magnus had ever had the privilege to lay eyes on. It had to be real, not like those jumbo tron proposals, because Alec was always pure, and kind, and true when he was with Magnus, and Magnus adored him for that. It had to be private, because Alec only ever acted like his real self, with no walls or barriers, when alone with Magnus. And Magnus had no idea how to pull all of that off with no actual plan in the time span of thirty minutes. Correction- he had wasted another fifteen minutes freaking out and now only had fifteen minutes left to prepare. Perfect.   
What to do, what to do? Rose petals on one knee when he walks in? No, too cheesy. Portal them to a getaway in Paris and propose there? No, too not Alec. On the beach, in front of the waves? Perfect, but it’s raining. Crap, he was wasting time! Think, think, think! Just then, Alec came in the door.  
“Hey Magnus! Traffic was pretty dead, so I’m early. What’s for dinner, I’m starving,” He said, taking off his jacket and shoes.  
Magnus was freaking out. Shit! This couldn’t be happening. Okay, calm down. This is fine! Totally… fine… right? No, he was over thinking things. All he had to do was improvise. Magnus hated improv. “Dinner got cancelled several times due to messed up reservations, rain, and demons in the park. So, nothing yet. But, we can always get something new. What do you want?” Magnus said, not really focusing on what he was saying so much as trying not to hyperventilate. His hands were shaking and he couldn’t figure out where to look. Apparently, Alec noticed.  
“Magnus, are you okay? You’re freaking me out a little. Is something wrong?”  
“On the contrary, I have everything I could possibly want and need right here. Life is perfect. Ever since I first laid eyes on you, life has been perfect. Because you are perfect. With your kindness, generosity, stubborn will to show everyone that you can love whoever you want whenever you want, how you act, how you look- not that looks matter to me, but still-, your smile, your laugh, how you talk, how you treat me, and so many other things about you that if I listed them all the sun would explode before I even got halfway done. Basically, your everything. And that is why I have been freaking out for the last day and a half over how to propose to you, and then every time I had an idea something went wrong, so now here I am improvising because by the angel Alexander Gideon Lightwood I love you so damn much and I can not wait a single second longer so here I am asking, will you please marry me?” Magnus just began rambling. Alec did that to him sometimes without even knowing it. Around him, Magnus would lose his ability to think properly, or stop himself from proclaiming his undying love every five seconds. Magnus looked up at Alec’s face. He was crying, his hands over his mouth.  
“Not unless you marry me back. Thanks a lot for stealing my idea, by the way,” Alec said through tears of joy.  
“Now just what is that supposed to mean?” Magnus asked.  
“I was going to propose to you, and you decided to steal the spotlight!” Alec said, hitting Magnus lightly on the shoulder.  
Magnus opened his mouth, then closed it again. He didn’t know what to do with that information. “Wait, really?”  
“Well yeah. You’re amazing. And I love you.”  
Magnus smiled. “So is that a yes?”  
Alec rolled his eyes and kissed Magnus softly. “Does that answer your question?”  
“I’d rather hear you say it.”  
Alec laughed. “Of course it’s a yes, Magnus. With you, It’s always been a yes. And it always will be a yes, no matter what.”  
Magnus smiled even wider, if that was possible. He cried one of those weird half laugh, half cry things, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. He slipped the tanzanite ring onto Alec’s finger and hugged his now fiance. “I love you so much, Alexander.”  
“I love you too, Magnus. Forever and always.”  
“Forever and always.”  
The two spent the rest of the night together, happier than either had thought possible without exploding not even a year ago. Despite everything that it had taken to get to this point, Magnus knew that he would do it over again a million times in a heartbeat and never regret it if it meant he got to be here in this moment with the love of his life by his side, kissing the night away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're confused by the tanzanite ring, just look it up. The colour of the gem reminds me of Alec's eyes. Like, they seem like the EXACT same colour. Anyways, credits for the first part go to the Perfect Maddy, and the second part goes to Anna. It's funny, usually she writes more happy stuff and I usually write more depressing stuff. But this time, we switched. Funny. Probably not, but I thought it was... IDK, whatever. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you in the next one!


	22. A rather strange engagement party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER! WOOO! HOME STRETCH BABY! oh, and also enjoy the chapter.

When Simon caught sight of Raphael, he tripped over the coffee table, his eyes wide. He stumbled over to Raphael, looking like he was trying his best to contain his excited puppy eyes. He put up his hands for a hug. Raphael shook his head. Simon dropped his arms, awkwardly. After a moment, he lightened up again.  
“So you were alive?” Simon was looking at Ragnor and Raphael with a combination of confusion, joy, hurt, and shock.  
“Yes,” Raphael told the younger vampire nonchalantly.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Simon yelled.  
“Simon, honey, chill. We don’t want to repeat what happened when you watched the new Star Wars,” Izzy said, placing a hand on Simon’s shoulder. _Wait, what happened when they_ _watched Star Wars? Actually, I probably don’t want to know._ Ragnor thought to himself. Jace, Clary, and Izzy had reacted relatively well to finding out that Ragnor and Raphael were alive, but Simon seemed to feel betrayed in a way. It was why they had waited to tell him last. The boy’ reaction made sense, Raphael was his sire after all, but it still was surprising to see the sarcastic little nerd so angry.  
Simon’s body relaxed. “Would you at least explain why you had to do it? Fake your death, I mean?”  
Ragnor felt bad for Simon. His whole world had been turned upside down, and just when he was finally getting on stable ground, he was hit in the face with this lie, which he had no reason not to believe. Ragnor looked at Raphael questioningly, asking him if he could tell them about Camille. Raphael nodded, and the two began explaining the story. After they were done, Simon gave Raphael a very much unwanted hug, but he clearly didn’t care.  
“Get. Off. Me,” Raphael told him, looking so uncomfortable with the situation that Ragnor almost wanted to tell Simon to continue because it was so funny. However, he was a good boyfriend and pried him off of Raphael instead.  
“Well, now that you are back, I think that we have cause for celebration. Simon, would you please join me in singing a song?” Jace asked, holding his arm out.  
“I would love to,” Simon said with a smirk. The pair sauntered up to a stage that had been set up for the toasts.  
“Ahem. is this thing on? Testing, testing one two three… Izzy you look really hot tonight… okay I think it’s on. Take it away Jace!” Simon said into the microphone, smirking at a giggling Izzy on the other side of the room.  
Jace stepped up to the mic. “We’d like to dedicate this song to our hosts for the night, the lovely Alexander and his magical fiance, Magnus. Hit it girls!” Clary and Izzy hit some switches, and some Wizard of Oz music began to play and a spotlight lit up Magnus and Alec. oh, Ragnor could already tell that he was going to love this, and never let the couple live it down. Jace and Simon began to sing. Somehow, Jace had already managed to get quiet drunk, and his entire performance suffered. That only made in funnier. It sounded like “We’re Off to See the Wizard” but with different words. He looked over to Alec and Magnus, who were having two very different reactions to what was happening. Alec was shaking his head and saying, “No! Not again! You said that i had until the wedding!” and Magnus was practically crying from laughing so hard.  
Jace and Simon began to sing the song a second time, _“WEEEEEE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WARLOCK, THE WONDERFUL MAGNUS OF BANE. BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE,_ _BECAAAAAAUUUUUUSE! BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL **ALEC** HE DOES!”_ The pair began laughing hysterically, bowed, and left the stage.  
Alec walked up to them. “Seriously?! I thought I had until the wedding!”  
“Sorry bro, that would take too long. Besides, it looked like Magnus loved it,” Jace said, still laughing.  
Magnus walked up to them, smiling widely. “Yes, I did. In fact, I would love the whole album. It would be a wonderful wedding gift.” Magnus winked then pulled Alec off to the side.  
Ragnor turned to Jace and Simon. “I need you to actually make an album for me to give to them for their wedding. I look forward to Alec’s reaction.”  
“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Simon said.  
“Come on Ragnor, that would just be cruel. How could we only give them a soundtrack when we could have given them an entire film?” Raphael joked, smiling. Jace looked at the adorable vampire boy incredulously as if he was possessed or something.  
“What?” Ragnor asked him.  
“He’s _smiling_.” Jace said, sounding unnerved.  
“So? He always does that. Vampires have emotions too, you know.” Ragnor shrugged, still confused by Jace’s reaction.  
“Well yeah, but that one doesn’t. I have never seen him smile, laugh, any of that. It’s unnatural. Like pigs flying, or eating pizza crust first.”  
“For your information, I smile and laugh quite often around certain people, but around anyone else I must maintain my physique of sarcasm and hating the world, lest my reputation be damaged. Also, I’ve seen Magnus get drunk and make a pig fly, and many people eat pizza crust first. Catherine did. It just so happens that those people are wrong,” Raphael informed Jace, his expression returning to a scowl.  
After that, they all joined Magnus and Alec at the bar, telling stories and laughing some more late into the night.  
*******  
Raphael felt as if he was on fire. Every step he took hurt, and he wanted to curl up in a ball. Even Magnus had commented that he was surprised that Raphael was still functioning as well as he was. The first day after Catherine died, Raphael did not speak. The second day, Raphael did not speak. The third day, he was still yet to speak; and so it went on. After the fourth day of doing absolutely nothing but locking himself away in a dark study in Hotel Du Mort, while Lily lead briefly in his stead, Raphael emerged, looking completely composed. Ragnor tried to talk to him, but his entire demeanor was cold, and even more closed off than normal. This was simply how he grieved. Raphael couldn’t show anymore weakness. Not after Camille had used it against him. So he waited until he was pretty sure he could go about daily activities without breaking down into tears, and then emerged, acting as if nothing had happened. However, it was eating him up.  
When he and Ragnor were invited to Magnus and Alec’s engagement party that night, Raphael didn’t know if he could manage. “Come on,” Ragnor coaxed. “You look like crap. It’d be good for you to get out and have some fun,” he may have been about to continue talking, but decided to kiss Raphael instead. After a quiet moment, Raphael wordlessly nodded, and the two headed out.  
Raphael tried to blend into the back of the room, but he seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone wanted to know what had happened. Ragnor took care of most of the questioning, but it seemed that the people he least wanted to talk too- namely, Simon- found him. After a long conversation, Simon managed to steal a hug (without Raphael’s consent) and went off the sing some rather inappropriate rendition of the Wizard of Oz “Off to See the Wizard” song. Raphael sighed. That was one of his early, happy memories. He had to have been one, maybe two, when the movie had come out, and his elder brother had taken him to see it. It had since then always been Raphael’s favorite. A sad memory was linked to this. Raphael suddenly remembered, with a jolt, that this was the brother whom, when Raphael had been turned into a vampire, had been accidentally killed by the then-fledgling. Magnus Bane remembered, but that warlock, thank Dios, had never brought it up. Raphael bit his lip, trying to clear his mind from such deathly thoughts. This party was supposed to distract him, not make him think about dead loved ones even more.  
There was a soft tap on his shoulder. Raphael jerked out of his thoughts, only to be met by Tessa Gray, who wore a soft blue knee length dress, and an ever so needed encouraging smile. “Theresa! Lovely to see you again,” Raphael said, but his heart wasn’t in it.  
“It’s good to see you too. I hear you are now the leader of the night children, here in New York?” she spoke so tenderly that Raphael wanted to give her a hug. She was so sweet and motherly. It was a long forgotten feeling that came back to Raphael quickly, like a candy that one hasn’t eaten in so long they’ve forgotten the taste of it.  
“Yes, I am. Theresa, are you and James planning to be in New York long? I’m sure the hotel-”  
Tessa smiled. “Oh no, I couldn’t impose upon you like that. We’re just in town for tonight, then we’re going head back to London.”  
“Oh.” Raphael said, trying to mask his disappointment. Then, carefully choosing his words, he spoke again. “Can I ask you a question?”  
Tessa smiled. “You just did, by asking whether or not you could. But yes, of course, Raphael. What is it?”  
“I know I may be overstepping here, but… I have just lost one of my dearest friends, Catherine Foster, who was truly more like family. When you lost Nathaniel, how did you…”  
“Get through it? Well, you have to remember, I loved my brother, but he did betray me. It still hurt, but I had some time where I wondered what he was thinking…” Raphael thought the same thing. What had Catherine been thinking when she sacrificed her life? It was almost to much to comprehend. “But the truth is… you don’t get through it. It will always hurt. It still does for me. That’s just the problem with immortality. We lose everything to time but our pretty faces. My suggestion is to never forget her. It will hurt horribly at times, but it helps us appreciate what time we had with them.”  
Raphael sighed, tears welling in his eyes. _NO!_ His mind screamed. _YOU CAN’T CRY. THAT’S WEAK._ but the more he looked around to room, watching as all his friends and loved ones partied, he realized something harsh. Soon, all of these nephilim… Jace, Clary, Izzy, and even Alec would be dead. Jordan and the other werewolves would die out, but what Tessa had said about immortality… the word snagged in his mind.  
Nobody is really immortal. Catherine was proof of that. They could all die, by one means or another, and at any point in time, which made all of them no stronger than any mortal. Raphael eyed Ragnor. He had thought the warlock was dead, and had been on the verge of killing himself. Now, he saw he needed to cherish his boyfriend, because at any moment, either of them could be gone.  
“It’s been nice talking to you,” Raphael said, his voice shaking. “But I have a job I need to do.”  
Tessa looked surprised. “Is it… Is it something I can help with?”  
Raphael shook his head. “No. Please don’t. I’ve got to do this myself.” The vampire then slipped gracefully out the door into the night, leaving Tessa looking on nervously after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? I don't know why if you did, this was kind of all over the place. Anyways, the credits go to both the inconceivably gorgeous Maddy and the kind of meh Anna, aka me. I'll see you for the last time next chapter!


	23. happy endings are always good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH! LET'S DO THIS! FINAL CHAPTER BABY, WOO! LET'S GO! I'M PUMPED! Okay, so now that that's out of my system, I am calm and okay to proceed. This is the strangest amalgamation of fluff and sadness I've ever seen. But, it wraps up the story nonetheless. Enjoy!

_Drunk Magnus is adorable_ , Alec thought as he watched his boyfriend tell stories of his adventures in Peru. Ragnor was groaning whenever Magnus mentioned the green warlock, but he seemed amused. The engagement party was going very well. His mother had shown up for a while, but had left on what she called “urgent shadowhunter business” but was probably just her way of politely declining Elliott’s proposal of the game spin the bottle. Fair enough. Sometimes he bites. All of his friends- and a good deal of Magnus’s- were there, but Robert Lightwood had not made an appearance. It was not surprising for Alec. Perhaps his father would come to the wedding. At least he hoped so, as hard as it had been to fix their bond that had, to be frank, never been super great in the first place. It could only be described as plot convenience that a certain person gently laid a hand on Alec’s shoulder.  
A warlock woman with chestnut hair stood behind him. (HA! I BET YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ROBERT, DIDN’T YOU? SORRY FOLKS, BUT HE AINT HAVING A CAMEO HERE!) It was Tessa Gray, Alec realized, Magnus’s friend.  
“Hey.”  
“Hello, Alexander. Congratulations.”  
“Oh, thank you.”  
Tessa was quiet for a moment, and the two of them just stood, side by side, watching Magnus. “I’m so glad he’s happy. Magnus had a hard time getting over Camille. I am half glad she is dead. Not a nice woman.” Alec flinched at her mention, but Tessa either did not notice, or made no more mention of it.  
“I… I’m glad too. It will be better for everyone. It’s a good thing Raphael’s in charge now, perhaps he can fix up all the twisted things Camille has done.”  
Tessa sighed, looking around. “Ahh, Raphael. I meant to talk to you about him. He has just left.”  
Alec didn’t know why this was important for him to know, but he allowed her to continue. “You know how upset he was over Catherine. If you would just… nevermind, I forget my place.” she stopped speaking, pursing her lips.  
“What is it?” Alec asked, his expression softening. “He is a friend, though I’m sure he would deny it.”  
Tessa smiled softly. “I worry for Raphael. I’m sorry to ask this of you, as it is your party, but he specifically asked that I did not follow him. But he trusts you, or at least he did enough to ask for your help with Camille.”  
“You think I should check on him?”  
Tessa nodded. “If you would. He only just left. But really, Alexander, I’m sure Lily, or Ragnor could-”  
“No, I’ve got this,” Alec said with a smile, and slipped out the back door. He glanced once more at Magnus as the door slid closed. Alec couldn’t help but sigh, his heart filled. _I am going_ _to marry him, he thought. I am the luckiest person in the world. I couldn’t have dreamed for a better love._ There had been times where he had thought it was a foolish fantasy to think he could be happy, especially with a man, or a warlock. But now… He felt like he was floating.  
Alec managed to track Raphael to a small forest, just outside of the city. Raphael was carrying something, but he could not get close enough to see.  
Raphael stopped when he reached a clearing, and set down what he carried. Alec drew in a breath. It was Catherine. Vampires do not decompose when they die. It was one particular thing that Alec had always been fascinated with.  
Raphael picked up a shovel, and looked at it for a long time. Finally, he slammed it into the earth with such gusto that the wooden handle snapped. Raphael fell to his knees. He couldn’t do it. Alec approached him carefully.  
“Uhm, Raphael?”  
The vampire looked up wild eyed. He was angry, unhappy to see Alec, and unhappy that Alec had seen him. Alec pulled out his stelle wordlessly, drew a rune that fixed the shovel, and tucked it back into his jacket. Raphael watched curiously. “I can dig it, if you want,” Alec said quietly. He had never been good with words. Alec had meant to put more sympathy into these words, but it must have come out as exhausted.  
Raphael shook his head slowly. “I can do it, Nephilim. I don’t need your help.” He climbed shakily to his feet, and took the shovel from Alec’s willing hands. Now Alec could see him better. The vampire’s face was stained with the blood mixed into his tears. He scooped out a few shovels full of the moist soil before he stopped. He looked at Alec.  
Their eyes met, and an understanding passed between them. They were both very, very different people. But they both had families. Raphael had lost a member of his family trying to protect Magnus from his horrid past. Camille had taken away someone he had loved most, and Alec knew that had it been Izzy, or Jace, or- perhaps Clary, but it certainly wouldn’t be as bad- he would be going through unimaginable grief. Max had been hard enough.  
Raphael handed Alec the shovel wordlessly, and sat down beside Catherine. He carefully brushed the girl’s hair back, murmuring something inaudible to her. Alec dug the hole. Finally, as it neared dawn, they were finished. Raphael hauled Alec from the hole, and gently set down Catherine’s limp body in the dimly lit abyss of earth.  
“Cathy… I am so, so sorry. Thank you. Adios. Te amo, hermanita.” he sighed, and together Alec and Raphael buried her beneath the loose dirt.  
Raphael turned away. Alec could see that the vampire could no longer bear to be there. Alec clapped him on the back, hoping it wasn’t as awkward for Raphael as it was for himself. “We should go. The sun is coming up.”  
Raphael stared off into the distance, where a soft yellow-orange haze began to illuminate the sky. “There have been many times that I would have chosen sunlight over continuing. This is the first sunrise I’ve seen in over fifty years. It… It’s breathtaking.”  
_It can’t exactly take your breath away if you’re already dead,_ Alec wanted to say, but he decided against it. “But now,” said Raphael, turning away from the morning rays of sun. He and Alec began to walk back to town. “It’s not so tempting.”  
Alec was surprised by this. _Wasn’t he just extremely upset over Catherine’s death?_ “What do you mean?”  
The vampire glanced at Alec, a soft smile breaking his upset, angry features. “I have Ragnor Fell. And… I hope that I have you and Magnus… For the first time in a long time, I feel wanted. I feel like I… Like I have friends… real ones at least.” he said the last part quietly, and Alec wondered if he’d meant for him to hear it. Had Raphael really never had real friends before now? If that was the case, no wonder he tried so hard to put up walls, never letting anyone see the real him. Raphael continued, “Sort of. And though it hasn’t been a great experience, I’m glad I came out about being with Ragnor. And you know something?”  
“Huh?”  
“You must promise never to tell Magnus that I admitted it. He would hold it to me until the end of ages.”  
Alec nodded, deeply interested and curious. “Yeah, sure, I guess.”  
Raphael’s faint smile widened. “I’m glad I became a vampire. If it weren’t for that, and Magnus saving me from myself, I’d never have met the man I love.”  
Though Alec knew very little about Raphael’s past, he knew that saying this had not come easy. As the sun rose, Raphael slipped into Ragnor’s place without a goodbye. Alec rubbed his eyes as he continued on his way home. He was very sleep deprived. It had been days since he had gotten a good night’s sleep. And now, he wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with the love of his life, in the city he called home.  
His phone buzzed, and Alec glanced at it. It was an unfamiliar number. The message read,  
How did it go? Is he alright?  
Alec thought he knew who it was.  
Everything’s gonna be ok.  
Was all Alec could manage to say, but he thought it was good enough. Rather than wait for a response, Alec looked through the texts he had missed while digging. One was from Elliott, which read:  
FRE SHA VA CA DO!  
And the other was from Magnus.  
While I do admire your mysterious slipping off to places to do things, u missed cake, which was awkward, because I was the only one there to cut it. Ragnor passed out… I think he drank something fae-made. Have you seen Raphael? I need him to get him out of Jordan’s house (where the party had been thrown). Also, I miss u. Where are u?  
Alec did not reply. He was too happy to think about other people’s problems. Right now all he could think was, _You know, I’m getting married. I’m not going to chase after people right now. Somebody else can take care of it._  
And so with that, he quietly unlocked the door of the apartment, where he knew Magnus would be waiting.  
*******  
When Raphael got inside Ragnor’s place, the warlock wasn’t home. “Probably passed out at Jordan’s place still,” he said to himself. He unpacked their bags while he waited for Ragnor to get back, smiling quietly to himself. Life was finally going his way, and it couldn’t get any more perfect. As he put away the last shirt, Ragnor walked into the bedroom.  
“Enjoyed yourself last night, I assume?” Raphael teased.  
“Shut up,” Ragnor groaned, still clearly very hungover.  
Raphael laughed. “You know I love you.”  
“Yeah. I love you too, even if you are annoying.”  
“Who, me? No. I would never be annoying! How could you ever even think that? I am wounded. Look, you’re killing me! Oh, the pain! Woe is me,” Raphael collapsed dramatically onto the bed, grinning happily. “My heart is broken. I shall never again know true happiness.”  
The warlock shook his head, combing back his hair. “You are such an idiot.”  
“I’m your idiot.”  
Ragnor smiled. “And I couldn’t ask for anyone better, because someone better doesn’t exist.” Then he kissed Raphael, without even bothering to ask where he’d been, or why he was covered in grave dirt.  
If Raphael’s heart could still beat, he’d probably have had a heart attack from how happy that sentence made him. Raphael pulled Ragnor down onto the bed with him. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better either.”

-END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did you like it? I would hope so, because the story's over and if you didn't then I honestly don't know why you stayed this long. most of the way through, all I could think was, "awwwww," Anyways, this last chapter was written by both me and the faultless, beyond compare Maddy Riveroot! Wow, I can't believe it's over. The two of us have started another fanfiction, so expect to see that one soon. The updates on that one won't be as often, but I hope you still check it out if you want. expect to see it in two weeks or so. Have a great day (or night, or whatever), and I will see you next time!


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